Explore. Dream. Discover.

Instantly Changed

2012-01-31T19:29:00.000-08:00

1 year ago today we were in Ethiopia meeting Lucy for the first time. Our hearts raced as we traveled to the foster care center to see her. We had dreamed and prayed for her for so long and that day, we were actually going see her in person. As we entered the gates, we were greeted with a sea of babies sunbathing. I looked around, trying to get a glimpse but couldn't seem to find her. It was then that I heard Russ say that he thought we had just passed her. I turned around and this is what we saw.

We spent 2 weeks visiting her but then had to return home just the two of us. Our hearts were broken and to this day leaving her is one of the hardest things I have ever done. We left not knowing how long it would be before we would return to bring her home. As we boarded the plane home, we saw two different families who were bringing their children home. I will never forget Russ comforting me as I stared out of the plane window, tears streaming down my face, heartbroken from having to leave our precious daughter. I could not wait to have her home and have her call me Mommy. It was six long months before we were able to travel back to pick her up.

Lucy has now been home six months. And while she has been saying the word mama for several months now, it is just recently that I feel she truly understands what the word mommy means. Tonight as I put her to bed, we shared laughs, kisses and hugs, but most of all we shared an understanding. As she was laying in her crib and I was about to walk out, she pointed to me and said "Mama." Again, she has been saying this word for a while...but she used to say it the same way as she would say hey and shoe. But tonight, as I reminisced about seeing her for the first time, I could tell she knows that I am forever. Praise the Lord for the healing and redemption that He has done and will do in all of our lives. Lucy is a true blessing in our lives and I am daily amazed and thankful for all God is doing in and through her life. Russ and I are truly privileged to be her mama and daddy.

William Rivers Polsgrove Is Here!

2011-12-28T11:24:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that it has been two weeks since Rivers was born. I want to document our birth story so this seems like the place to do it. SO, if you don't want to read about giving birth or hear terms such as dilated and effaced...then you might want to skip this post :)

On Monday, December 12th, I went for my weekly doctor's visit. I was a little over 40 weeks pregnant and just knew that Dr. Young would tell me I was close to being in labor. Instead, I was still only 1 cm dilated and my blood pressure was high. He recommended that we induce since each week my blood pressure had only gotten worse. I debated and debated. I called Russ from his office and we discussed this option. I had said from the beginning that I didn't want to be induced unless it was medically necessary. Well, my doctor strongly recommended we induce but also said he would give me the option of going a little longer as long as I got some testing done and came back in two days for him to check me. So I sort of had the option which made it harder to decide. But, I finally felt like I needed to trust him and his judgement so we would induce the next morning, December 13th. I came home from the doctor's appointment, packed our bags and spent the night with Lucy and Russ. Oh, and I cried all night. I was so excited about meeting Rivers but so sad about leaving Lucy and life being different once we returned. After all, she had only been home 5 months. I snuggled with her as I rocked her to sleep and thanked God for her being a part of our family and prayed that she would respond well to Rivers.

Once she was asleep, Russ and I went into their room and prayed over both our children, the birth, and thanked Him for the adventure that 2011 has been. Oh, and I cried some more. I truly think everything just hit me all at once - the long wait for Lucy, the trip to Ethiopia and having to leave her there, finding out we were pregnant, traveling to Ethiopia again, bringing Lucy home, the tough transition that followed, how far she has come, her first Christmas home, and now getting to meet our sweet son. I experienced every emotion possible that night.

We then went to bed for the last night as a family of three....a journey that lasted only five months. It was now time to become a family of four and we could not be more excited! I slept a total of about 2-3 hours. We woke at 4 am to head to the hospital. Here is our last picture before heading out. We were so excited and so READY to meet our sweet boy.

....to be continued.

Our Daughter in One Image

2011-11-10T07:16:00.001-08:00

This is what our life is like now. And we wouldn't have it any other way.

The Wheelbarrow and the Backpack

2011-11-10T07:06:00.000-08:00

My phone rang on a Saturday. I rarely answer the phone. It's not a noble trait, but it's become a bad habit. When I looked at the caller ID, I saw my friend Will's name and sighed. Out of all the people to call me, he's the one person I didn't want to talk to.

Will is another pastor at the church I work at, and his wife was pregnant. Very pregnant. He was scheduled to preach the next morning, and our Senior Pastor was out of town. I knew if he was calling me they were in labor and I was going to have to preach the next morning. I knew the text he was preaching on. It was Matthew 6. You might know it, "do not worry about your life, etc. etc."

The reason I didn't want to pick up is because I feared having to talk about worry, particularly not worrying, when my life has been consumed with worry lately. I just didn't want to do it. I felt the hypocrisy dripping from me just thinking about it.

It turns out, she wasn't in labor. He preached, and we all were spared. But that night, this metaphor came to me, and I feel like I would have used it if I needed to. Since then, I've been thinking about this more and more.

Jesus tells us not to worry in Matthew 6, and what he's really telling us is our stress and anxiety about the issues in our life are easily handled when they're in his hands. I kept imagining a giant wheelbarrow and a backpack. When we give our anxiety and worry and stress to God, it's like putting it in a wheelbarrow, the wheelbarrow does all the work. When we hang onto it, we're putting it on our back. We carry all the weight. We're essentially saying, "I got this, it's mine."

So whenever I've been worried or anxious or scared lately, I always remind myself it's because I'm putting those cares on my back instead of giving them away to a God who really can do all the work. And somehow, that's been really comforting.

33 Weeks

2011-10-24T19:10:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that we are at 33 weeks!! William "Rivers" Polsgrove will be here before we know it!!! We graduated from birthing class so I guess we can officially birth a baby now. Life is crazy at the Polsgrove house. We thought we had sold our house but it fell through so it is back on the market. Since we are still in our house we are starting to get things ready for Rivers and Lucy to share a room. His official due date is December 11th BUT he is measuring 2 1/2 weeks ahead and is large so we will see when he wants to make his arrival. Lucy doesn't quite comprehend getting a baby brother but she will come up and give my tummy a kiss when we talk about him. We shall see who will rock the other one's world more ;) Here is a pic of my growing belly....at about 30 weeks.

We are so thankful for these two precious children. Yes, life is crazy and hectic but we are enjoying it so much! Even though they will be about 18 months apart it definitely feels somewhat like twins. Can't wait to meet our sweet precious baby boy. It won't be too long. And yes that sentence totally freaks me out but we are oh so excited!

1 year ago

2011-09-23T19:53:00.000-07:00

One year ago today we received the first picture of our Lucy. We had waited and prayed .....and waited and prayed some more for the day that we would see her face for the first time. You can read more about the day HERE but basically, I was in Old Navy when we received the call. I hurried home to surprise Russ with the news. We called our case worker back once we were together in front of the computer and waited for the email to come through. I remember how LONG it felt like it was taking for the email to come through. When it did, this was the first picture we saw of our precious 3-month old tiny (and I do mean TINY) little girl.

We immediately went to share the good news with our family. So fun to just show up on their doorsteps with a picture of her!

We then waited a little over four months until we were able to travel to meet her . As we entered the foster home, I snapped a picture right at the moment we saw her...one that we had waited so long for.

We then had to leave and were not able to return to Ethiopia for 6 LONG, HARD months (for a total of 10 months from referral). But at last, the time had come and we traveled to bring this angel home.
We have been home for 7 weeks. I really am going to blog some about our transition...I know...I know...I keep saying that....but I really am!!

She is amazing and we are so blessed to be her parents. Her eyes and smile captivate all who come in contact with her. She truly embodies what the name Lucy means, "bringer of light."

Spinning Out of Control. Or Not.

2011-09-13T11:14:00.001-07:00

Last night we attended our first birthing class. In the revelry of bringing the little girl home, there are times when we forget something. "Oh yeah, there's another one on the way." We don't actually forget of course. We are reminded every day. But we've been so consumed with the day to day of our new reality, it's hard to imagine that this isn't going to be our reality for long. This is like a briefing. A preparation. It's a soft launch. A pre-grand opening. When we finally become ok with the fact that we don't know what we're doing, we're going to get another reminder that we don't know what we're doing. This is scary.

The birthing class instructor started to go through early labor signs, what to pack to the hospital, and technical terms that would make my 15 year old self snicker(ok, my 33 year old self laughed too). Anna and I repeatedly looked at each other with a smirky "what are we doing" look. It was comforting to look around at the four other couples in the room that gave each other that same look. We don't know what we're doing. This is scary.

At times, this realization is more than I can bear. If I dwell on it, I'm going to go insane.

Then I come home in the afternoon. I look at the little girls laughing face, and it's wonderful. Even if she's whiney or fussy or upset, it still makes my day. As a culture we are so caught up in the present moment. We forget the roads we took to get where we are. It took us two years to get Lucy home. No matter how tiring or scary it is, bringing her home was one of the grandest moments of my life, and when they brought her to me for the first time, nothing else in the world mattered. When Anna first showed me a positive pregnancy test, nothing else mattered. It was one of the grandest moments of my life.

Yes it's scary. We have to figure out finances. Are we going to buy and sell homes? Is he going to be healthy? How will Lucy respond to being a big sister after such a short adjustment period to the US? Will we ever sleep again? These are all questions we have, and they're not easy to answer. When these questions arise, I'm often reminded of something my dad always told me. Nothing worth doing is easy. This is conventional wisdom, an old wise saying, and it's truth rings deeper than ever before. All the pivotal moments of life involve leaps of faith. Every grand moment in my life started out with me saying these words.

"I don't know what I'm doing. This is scary."

So bring it on.

Russ

A New Reality

2011-08-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

Thursday will mark four weeks since we got home with the little girl Polsgrove. A month. It's cliché to say that it's been a whirlwind and we don't know where the time has gone, but sometimes statements are cliché because there are mountains of truth to them. For the first week, we were just trying to survive, and in many ways we still are. The second week we were dealing with a nasty stomach virus. Now it's not so chaotic, not so stressful. At least it's calmed down for me. I've gone back to work and reconvened a regular weekly schedule. Only now when I come home there's two people I'm looking forward to seeing rather than just one. I know it's different for Anna. She doesn't go back to work for a few weeks, and she is pregnant with our second child. I'm sure this makes the job of being a mother much harder because she is uber tired but she's doing a great job. One thing that has helped both of us is Lucy started sleeping through the night last week, and ithat's been a huge help. It's nice for us to sleep a little bit.

Before we brought Lucy home, there were two things I hated. First, I got tired of people telling me how different my life was going to be. Not because I didn't believe it was true, but because I hated the connotation that always came with it. Mostly we heard "do everything you want to do now, because once that kid comes home it's OVER". Although most people weren't trying to scare us, it was usually no fun hearing from people in that way. Our lives have changed, this is true. But we've made a priority out of trying to do the things we used to do. We've been to movies, created space for each other to go read and relax. It's more difficult to get away, but we prioritize our time away more because we realize how precious it is. And also it allows us to prioritize the time we get to spend with Lucy as well. Once the initial bonding process is over and we start having babysitters, I can't wait to go out with my wife again too. Yes our lives have changed, but it's been for the better. It's harder for us to do the things we used to, but we're still fundamentally the same people. I hope that never changes, even if our schedule is different.

The second thing I hated was when people relentlessly flooded the internet with pictures of their kids. Their Facebook profiles are their kids pictures. You get email updates every day. Blogs are filled with pictures. It bothered me so much. It seemed pretentious and self-absorbed. Now i know why those people do it. It's almost impossible not to. When you have an addition to your family, and you have other people who want to be a part of that, you can't help but be absorbed in the brand new moments. Asking a new parent to cool it with all the pics is like asking a 16 year old to stop showing off their driver's license. It's like telling a newly engaged woman to stop showing off her ring. It's such a life changing experience there's no way not to be proud.

Our lives have dramatically changed, so you will pardon me an indulgence for a little while. It'll eventually cool off, I promise.

As you can tell, she likes the swing.

She wore this headband for approximately 4.7 seconds before ripping it off.

Russ

Together at last!

2011-08-12T18:32:00.000-07:00

We have been home for one week and are doing great! Every day is full of surprises and not all days have been easy but we are so thankful to be on this journey. Here are a few pictures from our first day in Ethiopia.

After sitting on a plane in Chicago for 2 hours, running through the Istanbul airport, almost missing our plane to Addis, we finally arrived around 1 am that Saturday morning. We then found out that two of our four pieces of luggage did not make it (one made it the night we left to come home, one just came to our house today--TWO WEEKS from when it should have arrived in Ethiopia- thanks Turkish Airlines!). Our friend and driver Yoftahe dropped us off at the guesthouse. We unpacked, got everything settled, and finally went to bed around 3:30 am.

Last night with an empty crib in our room

We woke that morning and called Belay about taking placement. He said he would bring her after lunch. We knew that could be 1 pm or 7 pm. Around 2 pm I decided to lay down and take a nap. As soon as I closed my eyes, I heard Russ saying, "They're here!" We both jumped up and ran outside as they pulled up. We could see her in the backseat, drinking a bottle, with a precious bonnet on. We walked around to the passenger side and there she was...just a smiling. As I took her from the caregiver, I was so nervous of how she would react. She was a little cautious but quickly began smiling and laughing.

We spent the afternoon playing. She showed off her tricks and loved showing us how she could walk (just a few steps without our help).

We ended the day by giving her a bath (she was very unsure of this...but has come to LOVE the water) and then bed. Loved having her fall asleep in my arms!

The day began with an empty crib and ended by us putting OUR DAUGHTER to bed in it. We could not believe that after all this time she was with us to stay!

It has been quite a whirlwind since that day two weeks ago. We have so much to share about her, life, adoption, etc. but we are all still adjusting to our new life. I will say there have been difficult parts of the past two weeks (for her and us) but we are so thankful for God's continued faithfulness. We are exhausted but so in love and are truly amazed by this little ball of energy. We are so lucky to get to be a part of her life. Can't wait to share more!

Coming Home

2011-08-03T09:56:00.001-07:00

So sorry we have not had a chance to update! We have been busy here with the sweetest, cutest, funniest, MOST ACTIVE 13 month old I know! She has done so well and we cannot wait to get her home. We fly out in 5 hours and land in Memphis Thursday night at 6:50! Can't wait to see friends and family that have loved us and her for so long!

My heart is at peace for the first time since October 2007-- when we knew we were to adopt a baby girl. It has been a wild and crazy journey...one that has taken longer than I would have liked...but being on this side I can say God is good and IT WAS WORTH IT!

She has adjusted well... but pray for our long flight. Hoping she does well! Can't wait to update from home :)

Anna

It's a Boy!!!!

2011-07-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

We are so excited!! Lucy will be having a little brother in December!! Russ has been saying it was a boy and he was right!! Love that God revealed that to him so long ago. I cried just watching him as we heard the sonographer say it was a boy. Precious, precious moment!

We celebrated with family (and a few close friends) on Thursday night!

We then celebrated with a few friends tonight!

What a GREAT weekend!!!! As I lay here typing, this baby boy is moving and squirming. The lady doing the ultrasound went on and on about how active he was. If you know Russ, then it is no surprise to you that we would have an "active" baby ;)

I am now 20 weeks pregnant...which is half-way there!! I cannot believe that. On another celebratory note....our baby girl will be in our arms FOREVER in ONE WEEK!!!! AH!!!!!!!!!

Ethiopia, here we come!

2011-07-20T19:38:00.000-07:00

We leave for Ethiopia in just over a week to go pick up our girl!! We are ecstatic!! This has been a long, long journey- one that brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. We saw Lucy Samrawit's picture for the first time in September. I never would have dreamed it would have taken this long to clear court and embassy. But, it did. I would love to say I have been patient through every trial but that is not the case. Some days I have been filled with peace but then made it through others kicking and screaming.

I will say I have learned so much about God's nature....He has been so faithful during this time. I haven't understood every twist and turn or delay but I can say His promises are true. This adoption journey has brought on a whole new meaning to "lean not on your own understanding" and we have totally had to rely on His truths.

We are in a state of thankfulness right now. Tomorrow we find out if Baby #2 is a boy or girl. 1 week later we leave for Ethiopia. 1 week later we arrive back in the United States with one of the most precious gifts we have ever been given.

Please continue to pray for others still waiting to pass court and embassy. There are lots of mountains that are having to be overcome. We know God can level the mountains, break down the bars, make the rough places smooth, and make the crooked places straight. Please join us in praying that for these sweet families and precious children.

Thanks for loving us for the past two years we have been on this crazy ride! We are so thankful.

Submitted

2011-06-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

We got an email from our amazing social worker Kristin today! We were submitted to the U.S. embassy this morning! We now wait 3-5 days (or a little longer) to see if they approve us or need more paperwork. Hopefully, they will approve us and then give us a travel date. We hear (not sure if it is true or not) that embassy dates are currently 3 weeks out. So, we shall see. I know one thing....Russ and I will be on the first flight out if they will just give us a date soon!! Can't believe we are one step closer.

Praising God for moving and working. His promises are true and we are clinging to that.

Please pray for all of the families that are still waiting. There are many that are still waiting to pass court...some that traveled before us and some that traveled after us. Others are waiting for referrals. These have become dear friends to us and the waiting and not knowing is hard. Also praying for people to be called to adopt from Ethiopia...adoption is not the final solution to orphans in Ethiopia but it is part of the solution for now.

Thanks for being in this with us.

Happy First Birthday Lucy Samrawit!

2011-06-26T15:29:00.000-07:00

I must confess...I have been anxious about this day for a while. Knowing that she would not be home to celebrate her first birthday with us has been hard. But, we decided this week we wanted to celebrate and be able to show her JUST HOW SPECIAL she really is...not just to us but to many!

On Saturday, we were in Oxford, MS for a wedding. We were free all day so we ate lunch with friends before the wedding. After eating, The Ward's pull out the sweetest cake! Sawyer, their 2 1/2 year old daughter sings Happy Birthday to Lucy and then they give us the cutest painting and card!

Today we woke up to a new picture of Lucy. Our friend Carrie is in Ethiopia so she went to the guesthouse to sing happy birthday to Lucy and get a picture of her. Such a joy to wake up on her birthday and be able to see exactly what she looked like!!! I knew Carrie was supposed to be sending it so when my eyes popped open at 5:30 am (which they NEVER do), I immediately looked at my phone! Russ and I just laid in bed staring at the pictures. It was one of the best gifts we have ever been given :)

This afternoon we had a few close friends and family over to eat cake. Definitely not the way I had pictured today but it really was a great one! I can't say I didn't shed a few tears but I know we are so close to getting her home. Praise the Lord for that!!!

Blanket made by her Coco (my mom)

We are so thankful for the way people love us. We love that all of our friends and their children have prayed for Lucy for two years. We love that our families simply cannot wait to get her home. Today was truly a day of celebrating her birth.

Lucy, you are one loved little girl! We cannot wait until the day comes when we are together--the day God has had planned since the beginning of time. Happy First Birthday!! We love you so much!

Exciting news!

2011-06-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

It has been almost two weeks since our daughter (for the past year in our hearts) LEGALLY became our daughter on paper. We are still awaiting an embassy date. Our agency has to submit our paperwork to the embassy and then the embassy will give us a date. I am praying to be submitted this week or next (REALLY HOPING THIS WEEK)! Once submitted the embassy has to review our case and give us a date. I have seen this happen within days. Praying that is the case for us!!! I would love to be on a plane within the next 2-3 weeks!!! We want to get our sweet girl home and let her have some one-on-one time with us before December.

Why December you ask??

Lucy is going to be a BIG SISTER!!! We are due in December and couldn't be more thrilled. We should hopefully find out if it's a boy or girl in the next few weeks!! We knew God was calling us to adopt our first child and are so excited about this being the next step for growing our family.

It is NEVER boring at the Polsgrove household!!! I will keep you updated on the progress of Lucy and Baby #2!!!

Peace and Chaos

2011-06-09T12:05:00.000-07:00

I have a hard time staying focused. It's true. Anyone who's ever talked to me knows this. I sometimes get distracted and you might as well be talking to a wall because I didn't hear what you say. I'm sorry if this has happened to you. I'm working on it. I promise.

The thing is, there are certain things I've always been able to zero in on. They're usually solitary pursuits. Running. Reading. Writing sermons. Even cleaning is easy for me. If I'm alone and I recognize something needs to get done, I can do it pretty efficiently, until recently.

You all know this, but this year has been filled with euphoric highs and devastating lows.

We left to get Lucy, YAY!!!!!
We had to come back without her, oh crap.

It could be just a few weeks, YAY!!!!!
It's been four months, oh crap.

We're going to have a second child, YAY!!!!!!
We're going to have a second child, oh crap.

Throughout all this, one of the things that has been hardest for me has been the few areas of my life where I've always maintained focus have just spilled out everywhere.I constantly feel like I'm trying to reign in 1000 marbles on a glass table. This became evident to me this week when I looked at the calendar and realized I had scheduled myself to be in two places at one time. This is the second time I've done this in a month. When I realized what I had done, I got super depressed. I felt guilty. I felt like a failure. These probably seem like extreme reactions, and they probably are, but when you suddenly find yourself struggling with things that used to come naturally to you, it's unsettling. It's especially frightening when I realize I'm feeling all of these things before my children even arrive.

We feel like we are as ready as we're ever going to be for this new phase of life. It looks like it won't be long before this new phase of life happens, and that's good news. I'm sure when it comes there are days I'll be pining for life before children, but I'm ready for a progression. There are all types of emotions that come with waiting for something you've been longing for. Anticipation and fear and excitement for the unknown can sometimes paralyze you. That's what I think I'm feeling right now. I feel paralyzed and limited because at any moment my reality could change. It's like asking an 8 year old to act normal on Christmas Eve. I'm clearly incapable of going about business as usual.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, when you group the anticipation of what's to come along with the constant good news/bad news of this year, I can't do anything but get on my knees and pray to God. I keep hearing him say his grace is sufficient. I've read that passage over and over before, but I'm just now knowing what it means. Before I can be ok with having children, I have to understand that Jesus is all I need. He is going to make these things happen, but it all belongs to him. My daughter is not my own, she's his. Our high school students don't belong to me, they belong to him. My wife and family and house don't belong to me. They're his. Christ really is all that you need.

Sometimes the most worthwhile lessons are the hardest to learn.

Russ

She is OURS!!!

2011-06-01T11:06:00.000-07:00

We got the call this morning! Lucy Samrawit is officially ours!! We now have to wait to get our embassy date...but praying it won't take too long. We will post more later but we are just so excited!!!!! Praise the Lord!!!!

We cannot wait to get our hands on her!!!!

waiting

2011-05-30T19:02:00.000-07:00

Waiting is unbelievably hard. I thought waiting for a referral was hard. Then I thought waiting for a court date was hard. And they are. But I must say meeting our sweet baby girl in January and then having to leave her was the hardest. At the time though, I thought we would be back within weeks to get her. So, while leaving was difficult, I thought it would not be for long. We left Ethiopia on February 12, needing a committee's approval for our adoption to be finalized. It is May 30 and we still do not have the paperwork. Not one things has changed in our case. Our daughter, however, is now 11 months old instead of 7 months. She has changed SO much and looks so different. We have gone through every range of emotions the past 4 months. Anger, Sadness, contentment, thankfulness, anxiety, peace, joy, longing.......

I came across this verse today. I am not a Bible scholar so I do not know the context but it totally resonated with me.

Psalm 119:81-84

"I am worn out waiting for your rescue, but I have put my hope in your word. My eyes are straining to see your promises come true. When will you comfort me, I am shriveled like a wineskin in the smoke, but I have not forgotten to obey your decrees. How long must I wait?"

For the past two weeks many cases have been processed, some of which happened before our courtdate and some of which happened after our courtdate. I truly am SOOOOOO excited for the people who have passed. Each time someone passes court, ONE MORE child gets to come home. I rejoice in that.

But I must admit I sometimes have felt forgotten. Some days have felt hopeless. We love our social worker and agency and cannot say enough wonderful things about them, BUT we have had so many days where there are no answers.

I was so thankful to see words in HIS word that I am feeling.

After reading this verse, I again claim that "I PUT MY HOPE IN YOUR WORD." God always finishes what He starts and brings His will to completion. We truly believe that. While we would have it differently, we are still called to wait. And if that is God's best for us and for our baby girl, then we trust Him in that.

Thanks for the prayers and kindness. We are so thankful. Please also continue to pray for the other families waiting.

Hope everyone had a great weekend! Anna

January 31, 2011

2011-05-16T09:30:00.000-07:00

Our second day in Addis, we met our BABY GIRL!!!!! Here is our last picture before getting in the car to make the 20 minute drive to meet her!

We were so nervous. Several years of dreaming about this sweet girl and we were finally going to see her face in person. As we entered the foster home, there were 15-20 babies laying on a mat in the sun. We walked past...overwhelmed with the fact that we were THERE! Russ whispered that he thought we had just passed her. We looked around and there she was!!! I will never forget the look she had on her face! We both went and just stared at her. She was a little frightened at first....well, most of the time we spent with her. I then picked her up and held her for the first time. She didn't cry at first...but I did. I could not believe that I was actually holding her. She then started to cry so I returned her to the caregiver. After they took her to her room, we went to see her again. She was asleep in her crib so Russ and I just stared, in awe that this was happening. They then fed her and we watched her play. She was so small yet so strong! She crawled and was into EVERYTHING! We noticed that the rug had been torn....and then noticed that she was the one doing it! We stayed about an hour and then it was time to leave. So hard leaving her after finally being in the same room with her after 5 months of only seeing her on a computer screen.

Afterwards, we had lunch and then went to tour the Silk Factory. We loved seeing how the women and men take actual cocoons to get the silk. They unwind the silk and create thread to then make fabric, scarves, purses, hats, etc. Such a neat process!

After touring and buying Lucy the cutest hat from their store, we went to Bilo's for dessert. GREAT ice cream!

Our last stop for the day was visiting the Alert Leprosy Hospital. Men and women receive long-term treatment for HIV and Leprosy here. As you walk around the hospital grounds, you see men and women creating the most beautiful items. You could then purchase these items in the gift shop. We bought Lucy a beautiful crocheted table cloth. Beautiful to see these people with limited physical abilities (no fingers, no hands, etc.) doing such unique and detailed work.

We ended the day with take-out from Cloud 9. We were exhausted...such an emotional but wonderful day!

Ethiopia Days 1 and 2

2011-04-18T10:03:00.000-07:00

Yes...I am about 2 months late on this BUT I wanted to share some about our trip to Ethiopia. Some things I include will probably be boring to most of you BUT I am hoping those that are traveling to Addis for the first time might find it helpful. The Gladney staff do a wonderful job hosting you, but you have lots of free time. Their itinerary was great! But just wanted to share the things we did :)

When we left January 27, we were not sure how long we were going to be gone. Our hope and prayer was that we would stay long enough to bring our daughter home. Plans did not go as such....and we definitely didn't think we would be home this long without going back to get her BUT we are trusting in God's plan.

We arrived in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia on Saturday night, January 29, 2011. As the plane touched down, we were SO EXCITED to be in our daughter's country. We were nervous because we were praying for a miracle, that things would move so that we could bring our daughter home this trip BUT also knowing that we might have to come home and make another trip. As the plane landed, they were playing Van Morrison (my man)...which made landing even more enjoyable. Once arriving, we had to stand in a long line to get our visas. We asked for a 90 day visa but they would only give us a 30 day one. After getting that we went out front to meet our driver Yoftahe. He was WONDERFUL!! We cannot say enough great things about him!

We then headed down Bole Road to our Bjoe's Guesthouse. WE LOVE BJOE!!!! Genet and the ladies are wonderful! We highly recommend it to anyone staying in Addis ;)

We went to sleep knowing that we were in the same city as our daughter. What a great feeling!

We woke Sunday morning to a great breakfast and then spent some time getting to know the other people staying at Bejoe, all of which were Gladney families. We then took a drive out of the city to Desta Mendes. SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DRIVE.

We thoroughly enjoyed our lunch at Juniper Cafe. The chicken pie was great and we LOVED the peaceful atmosphere---which was very different than being in the city.

Next, we toured the National Museum of Ethiopia. The museum was okay....we had an EXCELLENT tour guide but I couldn't quite understand him :) Supposedly the LUCY skeleton was supposed to be there but it is touring the United States right now.

The rest of the day consisted of macchiato's from Kaldis (YUMMO) and dinner from Island Breeze. We had hamburgers (I didn't love) BUT we do love this restaurant. We ate there several times and really liked it each time. The owner married a girl from the states so the food is very American.

After dinner we headed back to the guesthouse for some rest. We would meet our daughter for the first time the next morning. We were very anxious, nervous, and excited. We could not believe the sweet little girl we had seen through pictures for the past 4 1/2 months would soon be right before our very eyes.

Help our friends!!!

2011-03-23T16:16:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Just wanted to let you all know about 2 different adoption fundraisers that are currently going on!! We are very passionate about these since so many people have supported us! The financial task of adoption can be daunting at first BUT God can and will provide.

Thursday night (March 24) eat at CHICK-FIL-A if you live in Tupelo or Oxford!!! A portion of the money will go to help our friend's THE THOMPSON'S with their adoption. Just remember to mention their name when you check out. You can go to the Chick-fil-a in Oxford from 5-9 and the one in Tupelo (outside the mall) from 4-7.

These are our friends Adam and Andrea. They are currently holding a photo contest. Click HERE to find out more details. Basically, they have a photo album HERE on Facebook. You look at the pics, taking note of the number by each one. You then go to their website HERE, click the DONATE button, put in the amount ($1 per vote OR MORE :) ) Be careful to make sure you put the number of the picture you are voting for in the special instructions box.

We love these friends and know that God will provide their every need. Simply because He has for us.

Lovin' Much

2011-03-21T18:05:00.001-07:00

Last weekend I got to have breakfast with Alison... a sweet friend that is adopting from Ethiopia. We spent over two hours at Chick-fil-a while her kids played on the playground. They were so precious!!! I am so thankful to have been able to talk face-to-face with someone who is going through and experiencing what we are right now. So thankful for that time!

I also wanted to tell you about a giveaway that she is doing. Click HERE to read about her AMAZING giveaway (that I am a little partial to :) )

Hope everyone had a great Monday!!!

How are You?

2011-03-21T12:58:00.000-07:00

January 27th was a Thursday. After saying goodbye to friends, and praying with mountains of people, we boarded a plane. It was to be a long trip, possibly two months, but we would return with our adopted daughter. There was a chance we would have to return without her. There was a chance we would have to make two trips. That didn't matter. We were sure that God would provide us a way to come home with her. It was his calling for the Polsgrove family.

It didn't work out that way. Most of you know, so I'll spare you the details. The bottom line is, due to some issues beyond our control, we're still waiting. When we came home, we thought we would only be home for three or four weeks before we returned. It's been over a month and even though we hear rumors, there's no way for us to know when we will be going back to get her.

People have been great. They've been encouraging and loving and supportive through every step. Joys and pains have all been shared with our friends and family. The one question we seem to get all the time is "How are you"? That's a hard question to answer. The most common response is "we're okay", which is actually probably a lie. I guess the answer is "most of the time we're great, but other times it feels like being kicked in the chest repeatedly."

I've gone through a wide range of emotions since we got home. Sad to leave her. Glad to be in a familiar place. Confused why we're delayed. Thankful for what we have.

The truth is, we stepped out in faith asking God to do something that was highly improbable if not impossible. He didn't do what we thought he would. In fact, on the surface it seems he didn't do anything. I thought that would rock my faith. I even thought it might make me doubt if he was even real. That hasn't happened. This has really opened up the most honest conversations I've had with God in my entire life, and I've been more assured of his presence because of it.

I am absolutely confused. I am fine one second, impatient the next. There are even times of searing anger towards him. I've been so angry that I wondered if other christian's opinions of me would change if they knew about it. All these things have resulted in me having honest conversations with God. I've been able to celebrate when he moves in other areas of my life, and man he has moved in other areas of my life.

The last time I posted, I was excited about going to get the baby girl. I also said that any semblance of control is an illusion. I had no idea how true that statement was. Although it's been painful, I wouldn't have it any other way. I know how much I screw up things when I start to take the reigns. God will bring her home to be with us, I have no doubt. With each conversation and question and prayer, God is asking me to lean on him more, rely on his grace, breathe deep while he does the work.

This is a hard thing, but if I'm going to say "Jesus is the most important thing in my life", I need to mean it. If it's not put to the test once in a while, I can't really mean it. So I'll wait. It's not always easy, but I have a feeling it's going to be worth it.

Russ

Habakkuk

2011-03-11T13:45:00.001-08:00

I have no words right now to describe the ache that is in my heart for my sweet baby girl. Many changes are being talked about for Ethiopian adoptions ...many of which we really do not know the extent of. For a few days I was glued to the Internet believing EVERYTHING I read. I now CHOOSE not to cling to every word that someone writes about what is going on in Ethiopia. I would love to hear positive news but right now things are in limbo. Right now God's answer to me is to not worry about what is possible for humans but REMEMBER what is possible for Him. These verses spoke to me:

“Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe,
even if you were told. " Habakkuk 1:5

"For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay." Habakkuk 2:3

"LORD, I have heard of your fame; I stand in awe of your deeds, LORD. Repeat them in our day, in our time make them known;
in wrath remember mercy." Habakkuk 3:2

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there are no grapes on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will be joyful in God my Savior. The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to tread on the heights." Habakkuk 3:17-19

Hope you all have a great weekend.

A long week

2011-03-09T09:50:00.000-08:00

What a week!!! Many of you have heard of some recent changes concerning adoption that MIGHT take place in Ethiopia. Essentially, to reduce unethical practices and corruption in Ethiopian adoption, MOWA (a committee in Ethiopia that approves adoptions) has decided to significantly reduce the number of adoptions that take place each day...effective March 10th.

We do not know how this will affect our adoption...most likely it won't affect much except maybe the length of the wait. We shall see. Please pray for the children in Ethiopia. Adoption is in no way the perfect solution to 5 million orphans in that country but it does help. Reducing the number of adoptions will increase the length and number of kids that are in orphanages...which breaks my heart! But I believe the governments heart is for the children and so I am praying they come up with a solution that will ultimately help all the children.

My heart is broken about what all of this means for the children in Ethiopia, for how it will affect our adoption, and for all of the families that are waiting on their children to come home. While my heart is crushed, I am hopeful in God's plan. I believe He is just setting the scene to do something UNBELIEVABLE. I dreamed a couple of nights ago that I was speaking (which is HI-LARIOUS considering I just don't do that) to a group of people and I told bullet-point after bullet-point of disheartening things that happened in our adoption. Investigations, number of adoptions reduced, etc. The list went on and on. But then at the end I said
"BUT THEN GOD..." That's right BUT THEN GOD. I distinctly remember seeing the dot dot dot. I don't know what the dot dot dot is or how God will do it but I know that God is preparing something amazing. Clinging to His promises that He will work ALL for GOOD.

While I have dealt with bitterness, uncertainty, anger, and brokenheartedness, God has met me each time. He knows my desire is for her to come home quickly but I have reached a point that even with all of the uncertainty, I rest that this is the story He planned and if He planned it...I don't even wish to change it. I simply cannot wait to see His plan unfold. I wanted the story to be over when we traveled to Ethiopia to pick her up several weeks ago. As good as that story would have been, God is writing a better story, one that I couldn't have written even if I had tried.

Please take a minute to sign this petition that will go to the Prime Minister of Ethiopia. Click HERE to link to it :) Thanks for loving us.

***UPDATED- I just read where they hope to have 250,000 signatures to send by Saturday and right now they only have 10,000. Please send this via email, twitter, and facebook to all you know.

Congrats Amy and Patrick!

2011-03-03T16:29:00.001-08:00

There were not many couples adopting (that we knew personally) when we began our adoption process. We have been so blessed to see adoption be placed on many couples hearts. Amy and Patrick started the process about the same time we did. After numerous people told us that we should be friends...we finally had lunch! I cannot tell you how thankful I am to have Amy as a friend. We have been able to support each other during each phase of the process. We (along with our daughters) will always have such a special bond.

They left this week to get their sweet daughter Evelyn (4 months older than Lucy) from South Korea. As their Gotcha Day pics uploaded on the screen this morning, tears fell from my cheeks. I am so thankful and so excited for them. People have asked me if it is hard to see them get their daughter when we are still waiting. And to be honest, the answer is yes. But God is so faithful and I know He will bring to completion what He started. I have experienced such differing emotions....sadness at the fact that we are waiting but INCREDIBLE joy for this sweet family. We love them so much and know Evelyn and Lucy will be great friends!

Another family that we are close to is adopting sweet Sara Ruth (2 months older than Lucy) from China. We cannot wait to get all three of these sweet girls home. One from South Korea. One from China. One from Ethiopia. All Girls. All within 4 months of each other. So thankful for these friendships!

Click HERE and head on over to Amy and Patrick's blog to see their precious photos and congratulate them!!! We are so excited for Amy and Patrick and cannot wait to be at the airport when they come home!!!!!!!!

In the desert

2011-02-28T22:31:00.000-08:00

Adoption is hard. Waiting is difficult. Seeing your child and then leaving them for an undetermined amount of time is excruciating. But I believe that she is ours. Not because I created this story but because I FIRMLY believe God did. And if He wrote it then I can trust Him to bring it to completion. I LOVE the lyrics to this song. While we sang them last night I could see myself in each verse. In the desert, the trials, the battle and the harvest.

Also, click HERE to read what Jamie Ivey has to say about meeting your children and then having to leave them. OH, how I needed this TODAY! Tough day....so thankful God used her in this exact moment. She said it beautifully. Thanks Jamie!!!!

The Desert Song by Hillsong

This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness, or trial, or pain
There is a faith proved of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on it's way
I am a conquerer and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

All of my life in every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the harvest
Where favour and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've recieved I will sow

Amsterdam

2011-02-26T12:14:00.000-08:00

Hey Friends! I am going to try and re-cap our days in Ethiopia. I will do a post a day, sharing pics and entries from my journal for that day....sorry if this is boring...just want to have a record of our time :)

January 29, 2011

We spent a day in Amsterdam on our way to Addis Ababa. In my journal I had written these highlights of Amsterdam.

- Small hotel room- 2 twin beds pushed together

- frites with cheese ( Cheese sauce was NASTY)

-canal tour- being so sleepy I could barely keep my eyes open

- Rembrandt museum - prodigal son drawings

- scones and coffee at cafe

- going to lobby for Internet to email to let everyone know we had made it

- being so excited but so nervous about arriving in Ethiopia

- sitting in the oldest pub in Holland- with an overwhelming awareness of being gone- the unknown we were about to experience

CHEESE...... my favorite food!!!

Rembrandt Museum

We had a wonderful day and night in Amsterdam. But the entire time I was so aware of the fact that this was not a normal vacation. Our purpose was different. We would meet our daughter in 2 days. We didn't know how long we would be in Ethiopia. The details of our journey were unknown. We prayed for a miracle...that God would move our case quickly so that we could take placement of our daughter in Ethiopia.

****Happy 8th month anniversary to our sweet daughter. We never dreamed we would be apart from you when you turned this age but we will be together soon. We love you!!!

longing

2011-02-19T06:32:00.000-08:00

We have been home almost a week....and we are missing our sweet girl! We will eventually blog about our time in Ethiopia....this week we have been battling jet-lag! Getting on the plane in Ethiopia without her was so hard. But, we know she is in good hands....hoping the day we go back to get her will be very soon.

Back Home

2011-02-16T03:16:00.000-08:00

A couple nights ago, Anna and I landed back in Memphis. Just the two of us.

It's obviously not ideal, but there's a little bit of gladness that things have returned to normalcy. After much prayer and some good advice, we thought being home would make the waiting process a little easier for us and for Lucy. So we wait here.

The good news is we are every day one step closer to when "normalcy" will have a entirely different meaning for us. We are closer than we have ever been. Now we wait and pray with great expectation that the God who started this process is out to finish it.

Thanks guys. For everything.

Russ and Anna are coming home for a little while.

2011-02-12T03:04:00.000-08:00

We will be flying back in to Memphis Sunday night. We won't have Lucy with us this time.

Nothing has changed here in Ethiopia regarding our adoption so we feel (and have been advised) to travel back home for a bit. We are so sad to leave Lucy, but we were not getting to see her very much and the short times we were sometimes made it even a little harder.

So, we will get into Memphis Sunday night. We still believe that God will work this out....and that the next time we travel to Addis we will bring her home with us. We are uncertain of the timeframe for that happening but praying it will be quick. We are trusting in God to complete this work He started so long ago. Thanks so much for all of your prayers and support. We have had a wonderful time...and love this country very much. We had hoped things would have moved along by now but that is not the case. This story is bigger than us and we have learned so much. Lucy is in good hands here but we can't wait to have her with us. Thanks again for loving us.

Surrender

2011-02-09T07:29:00.001-08:00

Hey friends!!! Words cannot express how thankful we are for you
praying and loving on us while we are in Ethiopia. We must say things
are not moving as quickly as we had hoped. What we are learning is to
trust God even when things are not as we would choose them. You would
think we would have learned this by now but nonetheless we are
re-learning it.. I think this is always the case for me :)

Waiting can be so hard. Monday was a hard day for both of us. We
realized we both had a little bitterness in our hearts. We truly
believed that our case would be final by now and we could take
placement with her here in Addis. We believed that God would move
mountains and this would happen. It is Wednesday here and we have not taken placement yet. BUT that does not mean that God did not move
mountains or that He isn't doing so right now.

We have spent the day in prayer and it is been a wonderful day.
Contentment and Gratitude are the two words that I have been
meditating on today. Yes, I pray that our case is final soon, that
she can stay at the guesthouse with us, and that we will get a quick
embassy date. Yes, I pray that by this weekend God will give us
direction on what to do about staying.

But today, my prayer is that I would be content. Thanking God for all
His gifts.

I am reading Calm My Anxious Heart and this prayer was in the chapter I read today.

Lord Jesus, I offer you:
All That I Am
All That I Have
All That I Do
All That I Suffer
Now and Forever

I added to that list: All That I Do Not Yet Have

Because this is His story. It has been all along. I offer this
story, her life, our lives, to Him once again.

We will make some decisions this weekend about staying or returning
home. Either way it is good and part of His plan. Thank you for
loving us. As you pray for us...pray for the other families waiting
for referrals, court, embassy appointments, etc.

We love you guys!

-Anna

Pray and Fast

2011-02-08T07:43:00.001-08:00

Now that Russ & Anna have passed court, they have entered into a period of undetermined waiting. There are some hold ups right now with the adoption process as a whole (not related to them specifically), and they don't know when those might end.

Tomorrow, February 9th a number of us are going to fast and pray for this "obstacle" to be over soon. Many of you know the details, but I'm not supposed to put those details on the blog.

So pray...

That the adoption process will be complete very soon
That Lucy will bond quickly with Russ & Anna when the time comes
That they will be well & stay well - both Russ & Anna have been sick

Fast...

If you're not comfortable with fasting food, fast from something else that is a common part of your day....i.e., tv, internet, etc.
Every time you get hungry, or think about watching tv, or getting on the internet, pray instead.

Let's do this as a community tomorrow!

Pictures!

2011-02-04T13:03:00.000-08:00

In Amsterdam during their layover.

With their driver in Ethiopia.

Hearts beating, outside the orphanage, about to meet Lucy!

They passed court!

2011-02-04T06:13:00.000-08:00

We had the joy of talking to Russ & Anna on the phone yesterday. They are doing well. They really love Addis Ababa. They said there is all kinds of great food to eat and a lot of incredibly rich history.

Visits with Lucy have been good. She is long but so tiny! They are not supposed to be bonding with her right now since the adoption is not totally complete. The hour they get to visit her at the orphanage is when the caregivers are feeding the babies and putting them down for a nap. Anna gave Lucy her bottle yesterday and put her down for a nap. Russ had the joy of doing that the day before. It is a sweet time, but hard because they still have to keep a certain distance from their beautiful daughter.

Russ and Anna went to court this morning around 11:00 their time. It went as it was supposed to, so half of the legal process is done. Anna said it was very emotional to hear that their adoption can't be reversed! They are going to tour 3 government run orphanages today which will be interesting but also hard. One of them will be the one Lucy was in for a while.

Keep praying that the obstacles blocking their path will be moved quickly!

-Merissa Rambo

Visit #2

2011-02-02T06:19:00.000-08:00

Russ & Anna were able to see Lucy again yesterday, and she was calmer this time. Russ held her and she fell asleep in his arms. Please pray for God to calm His child, Lucy, and for her to adjust to her soon-to-be new life and parents.. She is very attached to her caregivers, which shows how good she's been taken care of as a baby! They are hoping for some positive movement in the investigation, so continue to pray that God will work out all obstacles. They had no internet for a while yesterday and electricity is sometimes sporadic. Anna's hairdryer will not work in Ethiopia and everyone that knows Anna and her hair issues, understands that she will be a tangled mess by the time she reaches the U.S.! (quoted directly from Anna's mom - I don't want to get in trouble ;)

They are very grateful for the continued prayers of all of you!

First Meeting

2011-01-31T09:03:00.000-08:00

From Anna, "well, we met our sweet girl for the first time. very overwhelming and precious! She was not a happy camper at first...but after a nap and food....did much better! Pray now that the courts would move quickly and we can hopefully be home soon with our baby girl!"

It was asked on facebook if Lucy is staying with them now. She can't stay with them until some things happen legally. This week they get two more one hour visits with her. Their court date is February 4th. We will know more details then.

There is an investigation going on right now by the Ethiopian government checking in on some of the adoptions that are happening - simply to make sure they are legitimate. However, Lucy won't get to stay with Russ & Anna until this investigation is over. Please be praying that it ends soon.

Also, they can't legally post any photos of Lucy yet. I know we can't wait to see the first picture of the three of them together!

In Ethiopia!

2011-01-29T13:40:00.000-08:00

Russ & Anna have safely arrived in Ethiopia! I'm sure their arrival looked slightly different than their departure from the Tupelo airport. They will get to see Lucy for the first time around midnight or 12:30 am central time Sunday night, the 30th. They are 9 hours ahead in Ethiopia. Continue to pray that the investigation gets settled soon, and that the first meeting goes better than they have even dreamed!

It's All Happening

2011-01-27T09:40:00.000-08:00

We leave today.

For the past few weeks I've had these tiny blasts of panic. They haven't ever lasted long because almost immediately I've thought of another task that needs to be completed. This paper needs to be signed. This call needs to be made. For work or for the adoption, something always needed to get done. I welcomed the tasks because it made the fear go away.

So last night, when all my tasks were over, I feared the fear. I went to bed thinking I would be in a meltdown by morning. But something happened. I woke up, and felt at peace. Calm. No panic. Just an ease about what God has called us into.

That defines this whole process. It really defines my entire life as a Christ follower. Countless days of fear and panic, followed by calm. The peace comes from understanding that any semblance of control is just an illusion. It's faker than T-Pain's singing voice.

More than any other experience, adoption has showed me that the God I believe in is real. This story is not ours. It's not even Lucy's. It is God's. He is weaving this ravaged world back together. He uses tarnished people.

Every time we have had a roadblock, someone has come in the name of Jesus and helped us navigate it. Paperwork problems? Meet this notary. Money issues? Here's a check. Computer issues? Use mine. Work issues? Take whatever time you need. Scared? Here's a group of people to let you know that what you feel is normal. Here's a group of people who will pray for you.

We thank you all. Family members. Adoption agencies. Friends. Co-Workers. Youth Group Kids(you all know who you are). Caretakers. Coaching programs. Women's groups. Birth mother. There is no way that we can thank you enough. It's not possible. Each of you has played a large part in the life of our daughter. We love you. Our family's faith has been strengthened because of what Christ has done in you. This is a unique adventure that would not happen without you. You're the best.

Lucy's coming home. It's all happening.

See you guys later.

Russ

19

2011-01-26T20:46:00.000-08:00

We leave for Ethiopia in 19 hours ......AH!!!!!!!!! I have no expectations for this trip but to see God work. I just had 15 women pray over me and for us....and I know God has big plans.

I am experiencing many emotions but most of all I am excited. Thank you God this day is finally here.

Done

2011-01-25T07:27:00.000-08:00

I simply cannot believe we leave for Ethiopia in 2 days!! This does not seem real. The waiting has been so hard and long and now if feels like it went by so fast.

As we have said, we are going to stay in-country between court and embassy which can be anywhere from 3-6 weeks. But, there is a delay right now so our journey is unknown. There are a million different scenarios as to how the next 2 weeks will go. I am ultimately praying that our case is final on February 4th. But, I also know God is calling me to something more. He is calling us to pray for His will and to be content with the way He sees fit to complete this adoption journey. This makes me nervous as I type this but I know God is good and that He has worked out every detail of our adoption the past 2 years.

I believe the complications will be cleared up soon...I am believing GOd can do that. But I am also believing that He knows best and will work everything out to bring this to completion.

My friend gave me the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I am only on chapter 2 and it is so great! Here is an excerpt from the book that really spoke to me.

" I need oil," said an ancient monk, so he planted an olive sapling. "Lord," he prayed. "it needs rain that its tender roots may drink and swell. Send gently showers." And the Lord sent gentle showers. "Lord," prayed the monk, "my tree needs sun. Send sun, I pray thee." And the sun shone, gilding the dripping clouds. " Now frost, my Lord, to brace its tissues," cried the monk. And behold, the little tree stood sparkling with frost, but at evening it died.

Then the monk sought the cell of a brother monk, and told his strange experience. "I, too, planted a little tree," he said, "and see! It thrives well. But I entrust my tree to its God. He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me. I laid no condition. I fixed not ways or means. 'LORD, SEND WHAT IT NEEDS,' I prayed, 'storm or sunshine, wind, rain, or frost. Thou hast made it and Thou dost know."

So, join me in praying for God's will...concerning the timing of our adoption being final, the time we will spend in Ethiopia, and us being able to bring her home! So hard for me to let go...and just trust...with no set way in my head as to how it should go. But I am tired and honestly have no control over this so I am letting go. Can't wait to see how God works.

ps--for you crazies....someone is living at our home while we are gone :)

help needed!

2011-01-22T09:52:00.000-08:00

Okay friends that have adopted through Gladney :)

We are trying to finish our training since we leave THURSDAY and I cannot find the link to do our 2 hours of country specific training (Ethiopia part 1 and 2). Can anyone remember or show me how to do this??

THANKS SO MUCH!!!! Getting so excited!

Giving Birth

2011-01-18T06:55:00.001-08:00

I saw this video on Kristy's blog...so touching. Makes me so thankful that our sweet baby girl survived and for her first mom.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I can't wait to be in this country....9 days til we leave!!!!!

Solid Rock

2011-01-10T07:28:00.001-08:00

Life is crazy right now. I have a million questions swirling in my head as we prepare to leave for Ethiopia. We leave in a little over 2 weeks.....ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As we thought about the fact that we would travel twice...once to attend court and once to attend our embassy date...we began to feel that we were to stay in country between the 2 dates. We sought wise counsel, prayed about it, talked to our employers, and the answer was an overwhelming YES that we should stay. Typically the stay would be around 3-6 weeks but there are some delays right now so it is unclear as to how long we will be there.

Questions that run through my head:

How long will we be in Ethiopia, will Russ have to come back before Lucy and I can, what if we don't have enough money to live in two places, what if the delay is LONG, what if the finalization of our adoption is delayed and we have to just visit Lucy at the foster home versus her staying with us, what about my job while I am gone, what are Russ and I going to do with a BABY with no help (aka..mom's to help), I hate to leave our dog for that long (YES, this has crossed my mind...who would have thought I would even think about a dog when I am going to get my child.....I don't even like dogs), what if something bad happens here while we are gone AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.

So, now that you got a glimpse into my crazy head.....let me tell you what is keeping me sane.

The fact that I will see our little girl in exactly 3 weeks. God is providing me with a calm and peace. He keeps showing me that staying is the right decision...an adventure that I have always desired. Now that the time for it is here...I get scared but I know I would regret the decision if we chose to come home. Now is the time....everything has fallen into place. We are blessed with AMAZING employers who support our decision....amazing family and friends that are making this happen......we are fully able to go to Ethiopia with the sole purpose of LOVING on our daughter. What a privilege.

While nothing happening right now is bad....I do feel like we are experiencing the torrents of rain and wind that this verse talks about. And honestly, we want to give up. But we know we are anchored.

Matthew 7:24-27

"Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won't collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and ignores it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash."

Everything inside of me just wants to collapse...but I will not. I am holding on and going to enjoy this amazing journey without regret!

Saw this video this morning from Pete Wilson -pastor of Cross Point in Nashville.....

MORE: Series Launch Promo from Cross Point Church on Vimeo.

Love this quote from the video...."The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity. "

And that is just what this journey is....the opportunity of a lifetime.

Melkam Gena!!!

2011-01-07T06:35:00.000-08:00

Wishing my sweet baby girl a Merry Christmas! Today Ethiopia celebrates Christmas ! They use the Julian calendar which has them celebrating Christmas January 7th instead of December 25th!

Babe of My Heart has great info on Christmas in Ethiopia so click HERE to read more. We will be making Doro Wat (Ethiopian Stew) to eat today to celebrate:) Less than 3 weeks before we leave!!!!! Time is flying by!!!

More of Christmas

2010-12-31T08:49:00.001-08:00

Christmas Time is Here

2010-12-31T08:17:00.000-08:00

I have talked of my grandad passing away from cancer on here before. He had surgery in February to take the cancer out....unsure as to whether he would survive the surgery or not. Once he came out of surgery doing well....I let my mind go there. I pictured him with Lucy .....especially during Christmas since we thought she would be home by then.

Fast forward to Christmas....grandaddy not with us and Lucy not home yet. I thought I was prepared but apparently not. As I put the tree up after Thanksgiving....it was a sore sight. I would hang an ornament...then cry a little. Put some ribbon on the tree....cry a little. It hit me then that Christmas would be a little different this year.....that my heart would be missing two precious people. In some ways....reality hit that day. Russ suggested that I stop putting up Christmas decorations and just not decorate this year.

I...being just a tad stubborn....told him I could handle this...that Christmas was my favorite time of the year....and I just needed to grieve that day and then I would be better.

And I did. I grieved all day for the loss of my precious grandad and the loss of Lucy not being with us yet.

But also on that day I decided that I would have joy. Christmas celebrates our Savior's birth and I WOULD be joyful about that. His birth is the BEST news and this year I was going to celebrate HIM. It was that day that I felt God calling me to be still and be PRESENT with Him....to truly anticipate His birth.

During the Christmas Eve service at church....I thought about Mary like I never had before. Having a child...not knowing the circumstances.....all the unknowns yet an angel telling her not to be afraid....I had empathy for Mary......the way people must have talked about her...how she did the right thing no matter what others said....how scared she must have been....and most of all how she believed and had faith before she even knew what she was believing in.

Yes during this season we experienced some sad moments...moments where I just couldn't muster up the strength to be joyful. BUT this has been the most meaningful Christmas I have ever experienced. While the circumstances were not as I would have wanted them....the tenderness and faithfulness God lavished on us was simple amazing.

We decided early in the year we would stay home Christmas Eve. We thought Lucy would be here and we wanted to stay in our house as a family. Once we realized she wouldn't be here we decided that for the first time we would stay at our house Christmas Eve...just us. Russ and I cooked steaks, watched A Christmas Story, played Scrabble (which I won!!!), opened our gifts to each other and read from Luke. An amazing night.

We then went to bed and woke up to THIS!!!

Such a fun gift!!! A WHITE CHRISTMAS!!! Icing on the cake....my friends...icing on the cake.

"Because of God’s tender mercy,
the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us,
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
and to guide us to the path of peace.”

Luke 1:78-79

30 days

2010-12-28T12:12:00.000-08:00

30 days until we leave for Ethiopia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT believe it is this close. January 27th cannot get here fast enough. We are so excited about spending time with our daughter and getting to explore Ethiopia. My heart is beating fast as I write this. Reality is setting in....this is not a dream....we are actually going to SEE our daughter for the first time in 34 days and when we come home .....she will be with us!!!!!

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is It...

2010-12-15T13:31:00.000-08:00

Advent.

I grew up in a church in the south, but we never really celebrated advent. I mean, we went to Christmas parties. Our church read scripture about the birth of Christ. We sang all the songs. But the word "advent" didn't enter my lexicon until the past few years. Even now, I don't really spend a lot of weeks or even days preparing for the celebration of the Messiah.

I do know what it's like to wait. In August of 2009, Anna and I started the process of adopting a child from Ethiopia. We had discussed this for years, and finally took the definitive step forward. Since then it's been a process of waiting. Get this form turned in and wait. Have this notarized then wait. Pay this fee and wait. Make this phone call and wait.

We decorated the house for Christmas with a slight sadness because we have waited so long and Lucy still isn't here yet. We had seen her face, but we didn't even know when we'd be able to view it outside of a backlit computer screen. It was frustrating.

A week ago we got a call from our agency that said we had a court date. We're going to be in Ethiopia at the end of January, and we arrive at court on February 4th with the anticipation that she will be ours. So now, even though she's not here yet, we celebrate Christmas with a joy that our lives are about to change forever. There will be new joys, new hopes, new life that enters our house. Maybe that's what Advent is about. The anticipation of new joys and new hopes and new life.

After years and years of wait, the Hebrew people got the Messiah they had been promised. All of humanity was given the Savior of the world. He didn't come in a way that they expected, but when he did come, all was right with the world. God never shows up the way we want him to. He always messes with our sense of expectation. For a while I thought he was some cosmic bully, just letting us know that he's in charge. I'm starting to see that God messes with our expectations because he wants us to know that if we take control of our lives, it just doesn't work out as well. When he takes control, he blows our expectations out of the water. He lets us see just how small our plans are.

So this year, I will celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world. I will celebrate knowing that God knew this Christmas would be my last as a non-parent. I will celebrate because God has an enormous plan for the eventual redemption of the world, and I am a small part of it. I will celebrate because he knows what he's doing, even when I don't.

Change

2010-12-11T10:20:00.000-08:00

Christmas Change from Kujilana on Vimeo.

FedEx and Reality

2010-12-08T05:54:00.000-08:00

Monday, Russ had a conversation with his co-workers about praying for the adoption. He didn't ask them to pray for a courtdate.....he asked them to pray that we would have a peace no matter when it happened.

I decided this week was THE WEEK that I would truly ASK God for a courtdate. In fact, Monday night I was talking to some friends telling them this. But, I also desired for it to be His timing not ours. I was beginning to feel balanced....truly wanting it but trusting as well.

Well, God's timing for us to receive a courtdate was Tuesday, December 7.

I was working at a co-workers house...knee-deep in paperwork trying to get a printer to do what I needed it to do. She told me my phone was ringing and I almost just let it ring but she met me in the hallway to hand it to me. I truly was NOT THINKING it would be our agency. When I saw 817.....I knew!!

FEBRUARY 4th is the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I left to go find Russ at the church....just knew he would be in staff meeting and I could rush in and surprise him. I had it all planned out in my head....soundtrack music playing in my head as if we were in a movie. Well, he had already left to mail our paperwork to update our fingerprints. When I finally got him on the phone.....we realized I had forgotten to tell him to SIGN the paperwork before he mailed it. We were both frustrated and all I could say was ..."you will be sorry in about 5 minutes." He headed back to FedEx.

I showed up at FedEx and had him open the piece of paper where I had written down two dates. Jan. 30 and Feb. 4. The date we have to be in-country and the courtdate.

We then had our own little celebration in the parking lot of FedEx...which is completely appropriate since we have spent so much time mailing off adoption documents :)

We are praying about staying in-country versus coming home between the two trips. Right now we are thinking we will stay. We have been blessed with flexible jobs and would LOVE to bond with our baby girl in Ethiopia. Anyone else have a courtdate around this time and staying???

We are beyond excited...and maybe just a little freaked out. I feel as though I just got pregnant and am going to deliver in less than two months. The reality of it not just being Russ and I anymore is setting in ....but we are so ready.

A Cord of Three Strands

2010-12-04T19:47:00.001-08:00

One of my great friends, Sara Berry, just published a new book called A Cord of Three Strands. The book is a true story of a sweet lady that lives in our town and it is FABULOUS!!! It involves one teenage girl giving her child up for adoption. It involves one woman's desire and longing for children. It involves redemption and grace and a story only God could create.

I read the book in two days and BAWLED the entire time. Such a sweet, sweet story. Here is the promo video for the book. You can go to www.bethelroadpublications.com to order your copy....and she has some other great books that would be great Christmas presents as well....

Especially the sweet children's book .....A Home for Him (for boys or girls).... AMAZING artwork and tells Biblical truths plainly so that kids can understand.

Let me know if you read the book (or books) and what you think :)

Anna

Ten Years

2010-11-27T13:41:00.001-08:00

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. We had a very relaxing week and weekend!!! Just found these pics from my ten-year high school class reunion. That night, I reflected A LOT on my life and how it has changed since high school. I reflected on my dreams and how they have evolved and changed over the past 10 years.

In high school:

Dreams: Pediatrician, marry late in life, lots of kids

Well, I was in pre-med for 1 year and then nursing for 1 year and I consistently felt out-of-place. I knew that was not what God had for me. I met Russ the very first day of college.....suddenly my marry later in life plan had failed. SO, the only consistent passion/dream of mine is kids. I felt God first talk to me about adoption at the end of my first year of college BUT I had no idea He would have it planned for our first child. How precious that He gave me a husband that desired the same thing :)

I have struggled my entire life with doing what pleases others. The night of the reunion I felt more like myself than I ever did in high school.

I work for a fabulous company that teaches kids to choose what is true, good, and right, I have an AWESOME husband that I love so much and we have a GOOD marriage AND we are working on all those kids I dreamed about :)

Praying our sweet Lucy will be home soon!!!

Random Fact Friday

2010-11-12T19:37:00.000-08:00

So, it has been a while since I have posted Random Fact Friday. Just ran across this pic....while in Austin for the Together for Adoption conference we went to Zilker Park.

AND.....

Out of all the people sitting in the park....I got pooped on by a bird. Thought it was picture worthy :) Happy Friday!!!!

Light at the End of the Tunnel

2010-11-08T20:00:00.000-08:00

After 15 months, we are nearing the end of this process.

Anna has been excited about getting the room ready for Lucy. She's been waiting to do it until we got a referral, now she's started to get her mind wrapped around what she wants it to look like. A couple weeks ago she had the greatest idea.

When she went to China two years ago, they toured a building that would be a meeting place for a house church. When they were there, they took pencils and wrote passages of scripture all over the walls, knowing they were going to be painted. So, knowing that we would paint over it pretty soon, we got pencils out and started writing scripture all over Lucy's room.

Some verses meant a lot to us. Some verses we have found insightful and comforting in this arduous process. Some verses were things that we read a long time ago and have impacted us in some way. As we started to write, we got more and more ideas. I can't really explain why it was such an affirming practice for us, but the more we wrote, the more we smiled and laughed and knew that God has been with us this whole time. It was a life giving process. We prayed together after the walls were full.

When we were writing all this down, I started to recall verses that I haven't read or reflected on in a long time. One of them was a verse passed onto me by my sister.

For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Zephaniah 3:17

She sent it to me when she was in high school and I was working at Camp Lake Stephens more than ten years ago. Although it's one verse in a longer passage of God's redemption on the tail end of rebellion and punishment, that verse was exactly what I needed to hear. It was helpful in a time when I needed help.

I was looking at the words as I reflected on that verse for the first time since 1998. God is living among us. He is actually living among Lucy's room here and Lucy's room across the world. He has calmed all our fears. He has saved us, taken delight in us, rejoiced over us. He is calming her fears, saving her, taking delight in her, rejoicing over her.

This is amazing to me. I will try to pass this truth to my daughter, to all my children. It's the same way that my sister helped shaped me a long time ago. God has used all my experiences, good and bad, to shape me into who I am. Throughout those experiences have been people. Sisters, mother and father. Friends. My wife. He has used people to shape me.

My daughter will now be shaped by the truth that God rejoices over her with singing. She'll be different from me, and probably end up being a totally different person that I'll ever imagine. But my one hope above all is that she'll fall in love with the Savior that I've come to constantly let down but ultimately trust and love. The cycle goes on.

He rejoices over me. He rejoices over her. Over and over he tells us who he is by the way we are brought together. My transformation is just one more in a long line of transformations that make up the redemption of the world. That's overwhelming. More than that, though, it's wonderful beyond words.

Still Fighting

2010-11-08T12:41:00.000-08:00

I continuously talk about this verse.

Psalm 46:10

"Be Still and Know that I am God."

It is written on the wall in our upstairs room. The room that allows me to "get alone." It is also on our daughter's nursery wall....

The adoption process is a hard one. I have struggled for the past 6 months it seems like. I struggled waiting on a referral. Then we got our referral and I was good (for like 1 week). Then I struggled again waiting on our court date. I felt like I had lost the "fight" in me.

You see, in our adoption, I have realized I need a good balance of fight and stillness. To me, the two contradict each other.

I have let my heart be in the process but then at times, left it out in the cold so that I could handle the process. I have engaged in the process yet at times pretended like it wasn't happening so I could handle it all.

But this past week...something happened. I found my "fight" and determination to continue on in the journey to our little girl. I had grown weary but have been renewed.

I also realized that I was focusing more on the first part of the verse. The key is in the second part. KNOW THAT I AM GOD.

I am trusting in that part. God is providing us with unbelievable peace right now....to which I am so thankful.

“I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless that is good for us to wait.”

- C.S. Lewis

Praying for a courtdate soon :)

Heart of Peace

2010-11-05T07:37:00.000-07:00

I came across this in my journal....from January 9, 2010.

"If you want to hear God's voice clearly and you are uncertain, then remain in His presence until He changes this uncertainty. Often much can happen during this waiting on the Lord. Sometimes He changes pride into humility; doubt into faith and peace; sometimes lust into purity. The Lord can and will do it."

Corrie Ten Boom

Love how over this past year these have all been prayers of mine. I forgot that I had even read this quote.... LOVE how God reminds us that He is able and working when we need it most.

Believe

2010-10-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

Just an update....we are STILL waiting on a courtdate. We hope to get the call soon. They say you usually get the call 4-6 weeks before travel. Oh, I hope to hear soon.

Our sweet baby girl is 4 months old today...and is getting so strong and big!!! We have worn out the 3 videos that we got last week....seriously...we watch them 500 times a day. Okay, well not 500 but close :)

We have finally started to work on her room...I'm a last minute kind of girl....but have really started to get some things done!! My family and friends should be proud!!!

Praying for our courtdate....I BELIEVE that God's timing in this will be just as He wants it. My prayer last year was that she would be home by Christmas 2010. Probably not going to happen. I was in Hobby Lobby on the Christmas aisle several weeks before we received our referral. I had a slight melt-down..which involved me talking to myself..telling myself to pull it together....but I just couldn't. I looked up and there was a Christmas ornament with the word BELIEVE on it. The past two years....that is the word that God had whispered in my ear. And there it was again. On a Christmas ornament which happened to have a big pink and white polka-dot bow on top. I bought that ornament that day....as a reminder. God is who He says He is and He is good. I believe that.

So, I would LOVE a court date tomorrow....and believe we could get one tomorrow. But, if we don't I still know that we are all under his wings.

Psalm 91:1- 16

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. ^[a]

² I will say ^[b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

³ Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

⁴ He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

⁵ You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

⁷ A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

⁸ You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

¹⁰ then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

¹² they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

¹³ You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

¹⁵ He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

¹⁶ With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

The Best Day Ever

2010-10-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

Two sweet women were traveling to Ethiopia to go to court for their children. I emailed them both and asked them to take pictures of our sweet baby girl. I even sent a package for one of them to take to her. They both emailed us LOTS of pictures of her and even VIDEO. She had the hiccups in the video and oh. my. word. it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry as I watched. This is real. She is real. God is more real than ever.

How crazy is that??? A picture of us is with her now!!!!
Thanks Renae and Brenda!!!!

Referral Day!!!

2010-10-15T12:01:00.000-07:00

Here are a few pics from our referral day. Some of the ones of us seeing her picture we can't post..since it shows her face :(

My mom and aunt (and brother's legs)...LOVE their faces!

My Dad and I

We didn't get to Russ' parents until 10:30 that night. We actually woke them up to show them her sweet face. This is Mrs. Birdie's surprised face :)

Again, we literally got them out of the bed!!

Russ skyped with his sister to see her reaction. Such a sweet time.

We had the best time showing people her face in person. It has been 3 weeks since we first saw her picture....CANNOT wait to get an update on her. Gladney says you get one twice a month so it should be anyday. Praying it will be TODAY!! We are also still waiting for a court date....praying it would be soon as well ;)

Together For Adoption

2010-09-29T15:58:00.000-07:00

Russ and I will be heading to Austin, TX for the Together for Adoption Conference! We are so excited!!!! Please email me (annapolsgrove@gmail.com) and let me know if you will be there...maybe we can meet up!

Can't wait to share all we learn and experience :)

Old Navy will forever be a part of my life.

2010-09-27T20:12:00.000-07:00

Last week I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Strep Throat. He came to visit and slightly overstayed his visit. Because of his visit, I also had to meet Mrs. Steroid S. Hot. Our time together lasted all week....and amazingly did not involve any sleep.

Tuesday I was home alone and SAD. I was not having fun with my company and just wanted a referral. I began to think about Lucy and her future and our future with kids. I felt the overwhelming need to go into her room (which is FULL of junk), get on my knees, and pray for our futures. I prayed against my need to think I know what is best for her life....against the need to feel like I am in control... and that I would realize she is first and foremost God's child and I must trust her to Him. It then hit me that if I believe that and pray for that for the future then I must believe He knows every day of her life...even if I don't what is going on with her now. It is amazing how many times God has to teach me the same lessons. I left her room with a sense of peace....thankful that God is all-knowing and I am not.

On Thursday, I decided to try and go to work for the day. After a couple of hours my boss/great friend called in a panic. She was overwhelmed and just needed to vent. They (as in her and her husband and their FIVE children) were leaving for Boston that afternoon and life was just overwhelming. I listened and finally told her I was coming over to help. After many attempts to try and get me not to, she finally agreed to let me come.

Such a God moment. When I got to her house...we sat and talked about our China trip we went on two years ago, family, sin, God, life. FOR. TWO. HOURS. We prayed, cried, breathed. Just what I needed. After lunch we finally started working. Around 3 pm she told me she was going to Wal-mart and Old Navy to get items for their trip. I told her my energy was sinking (due to my unwanted guest...Mr. Strep Throat) and to let me go for her. I called Russ on the way and told him I would be home in an hour or so.

I wandered through Wal-mart....no shorts for her son so I ran to Old Navy. No shorts. I was walking through the store...ILL....TIRED....and my phone rang. I was so disturbed...I mean...how dare someone call me on my phone. I decided to see who it was. 817.......uh...uh.....this is it.

Me: Hello???

Kristen: Hey Anna, This is Kristen....this is the call.

Me: (screaming in Old Navy) Oh my goodness....I didn't think you were ever going to call me.

I stood there for a moment....stunned...then thought about the fact that I didn't get my friend's son's shorts. Maybe I should go to Kohl's....wait ....what am I thinking.....I need to go home NOW and see my BABY!! I dropped the other items off at her house and told her I was running home to see my baby.

I called Russ...told him I didn't feel well and would be home in a minute. He said I sounded weird...I told him nothing was wrong.

My heart was pounding and I think I had to remind myself to breathe a few times on the way home. I drove in silence...no radio...just my thoughts (and the squeaking sounds from our old car that is on it's last leg...or tire if you will).

I pulled up...ran to the door...completely trying to act normal...Russ met me at the door. I could tell he was worried but I knew he had no idea. I told him we had gotten the call!

We set the computer up and called Kristen. She didn't answer the first time but answered the second time. Good thing because I was calling every minute until she answered.

When her picture came up and she told us her age...we were stunned. I had no idea she would be so little....so tiny....so beautiful. I looked over and Russ was weeping...which was just as beautiful a site as her. We didn't speak for minutes...we were quite literally speechless. After hearing her story...God was suddenly bigger and grander than I realized. I felt like I had just gotten a glimpse of Him and his character....I suddenly knew Him better.

He put her on our heart 3 years ago....and on the day we got the call...she was 3 days from being 3 months old. She is perfect and has the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen.

What an amazing end to the week. For 8 months I wanted the call. While nothing spectacular happened during this past week....the timing of the call was perfect. Russ and I had been depressed, sad. Our prayers had turned to begging....but this past week..we both realized that and consciously spent time trying to come to a point where we wanted God's timing not ours. By Thursday we weren't desperate...well, maybe a little....but we were ready. What a wonderful day!!! Thursday night and Friday were spent driving around North Mississippi showing her off to our friends and family.

Absolutely amazing experience. We love her so much.

There are no words

2010-09-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

It has been 18 hours and we are still staring at pictures of the most precious, tiny, beautiful 3 month old little girl ever. God is bigger and grander than we ever imagined. More details to come :)

we love you all.

Let's help the Scopel's!!!!

2010-09-21T06:55:00.000-07:00

I LOVE helping people with their adoptions because I know first-hand what a difference it can make. We have had so many people help with our adoption....and LOVE our little Lucy even though they have never met her. I love that concept.

So, today I want to tell you about a way you can help another family, The Scopels. They are adopting a little girl from Uganda. They were going to go on the waitlist but found a waiting child that they fell in love with. They are in the process of doing their paperwork...but hopefully it will go quickly!!

To raise money...they are selling t-shirts. The t-shirts have this logo on them.

You can order sizes Youth Medium, YLarge, Adult Small, Medium, Large, XLarge and XXLarge. Long sleeves available for an extra $3. The shirts are $25 (shipping included) or $20 if you do not need shipping. Shipping is $5 per shirt. Email Amy (amyscopel@gmail.com) to order one!!! (or 2 or 10 :))

Check out their blog HERE for more info on t-shirts and to read more about their amazing journey!!!

8 months

2010-09-19T06:49:00.000-07:00

I never thought we would see this month on the waitlist. When we originally started...the wait time was 4 months for a child over 12 months. We assumed that since we were open to a child up through 15 months that we would wait around 4 months. We have now doubled that time.

There are moments that are really difficult....hard to explain but it just feels like someone is missing all the time. We constantly think of her and are trying to enjoy this time because we know our lives will change but it is still hard.

And even though I think crazy thoughts about this even being God's will or is this adoption even real...God reminds me that He is in control. Russ and I are learning and growing through this wait and I am so thankful for that.

I went for a run last week and just asked God to give me a word. Russ and I had both been anxious and didn't know for sure why. Then the phrase "It is well with my soul" came to mind. That is my prayer...that no matter what we go through...or how long we wait....it would be well with my soul. PEACE is what I pray. I pray to be content...I choose to have faith....knowing that when our Lucy comes along...God will lead her to us.

Habakkuk 2:3

"For the vision is yet for the appointed time; it hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; for it will certainly come, it will not delay."

Deuteronomy 31:8
"The Lord is the one who goes ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed."

It is Well with My Soul:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, it is well,
With my soul, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath she'd His own blood for my soul.

It is well, It is well,
With my soul, with my soul
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
It was nailed trough his cross, and I bear it no more,
Bless the Lord, bless the Lord, O my soul!

It is well, It is well
With my soul, with my soul
It is well, it is well, with my soul

Here's to hoping that this will be the week :) Thank you so much for the support and kind words....we love you guys!!!

Integrity Time

2010-09-16T10:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is one of those shameless posts where I advertise where I work :) Feel free to stop reading now if you don't care OR....continue reading and make my day.

I worked for a girls' grouphome for 3 years and in August God opened a door for me to work a job that will be more feasible with having a child. I will talk more later about how hard it has been, finding your worth in your job, yada, yada, yada but today I want to share with you who I work for.

I am now working for Integrity Time.... click HERE to visit our website. My great friend Sara Berry started IT in response to a need she saw. When one (of her FIVE children) attended Kindergarten she saw a need for Character Education...teaching kids what is true, good, and right. So, unlike me, she decided to write her own. I probably would have just said oh well....but she is quite the little over-achiever.

She wrote IT and began volunteering in her son's classroom doing the lessons. Other teachers and parents caught on and wanted to be a part of it. So, now it is published, translated in Spanish and Chinese, and in classrooms all around.

It would be great curriculum for any school, classroom, church, home-school setting, or for parents to use. We are selling the curriculum but also trying to get businesses and individuals to donate so that the curriculum can be given to schools that might not be able to purchase it. If you are interested in getting more info....to buy, to give to your child's school, or to look into donating so that the curriculum can be in your school district in your city....please email me :) annapolsgrove@gmail.com

Again, I know...I have NO shame but this is something that I believe in . We would give it away to all schools if we could but unfortunately it takes money to produce.

I couldn't get the video to post so click HERE to watch. Also, find us on Facebook by looking for Integrity Time or clicking HERE.

Seriously. It is awesome. It incorporates values, morals, manners, the alphabet, puppets, crafts, snacks, etc.

Ok....I think that is enough....email me if you have any questions. If you made it all the way through this post....you are my new best friend :)

ugh!!!!!!!

2010-09-13T21:24:00.000-07:00

WARNING: Honest post coming from the heart. You have been warned :)

WE ARE READY FOR OUR REFERRAL :) The past two weeks have been hard. I am extremely emotional....not sleeping...and just plain ready to see my daughter's face. I am trying to be content because in my crazy mind I feel like we won't get the referral until I am content in waiting BUT I am not there today. You know the feeling when you have gone on vacation and it has been wonderful....but then you wake up on the last day and know you have the long drive home. And that ride takes for.....e....ver.......That is how I feel today. Ready. Tired. Emotional. Ready to be done with the waiting.

Praying tomorrow will be the day. Praying she is home by Christmas. That has been my dream all along...that we would not spend Christmas 2010 without her.

I wish I had some encouraging words....and tomorrow I am sure I will...but tonight I just don't. I have been trying to go to sleep for a couple of hours...no such luck.

Also, my glasses are at my in-laws and I had already taken my contacts out SO if you see any typos....just know that it is because I am blind as a bat.

Sidenote: I love my husband. We were sitting on the couch tonight and he tells me that he wants to build Lucy a treehouse or a teepee. I think Teepee won. Why does my infant daughter need a teepee you ask. I have no idea. But, I love that my husband...her daddy....wants to build her one.

Together For Adoption

2010-09-12T13:09:00.000-07:00

Russ and I are sooooooo excited about going to the Together for Adoption conference Oct. 1 and 2 in Austin, TX. Seriously....I don't think you know how excited we are. There are some amazing speakers and break-out sessions....which I hope to learn a lot from. But, I am equally excited about meeting other people that have or are adopting. I have mentioned a couple of times on this blog about how it can sometimes be a little hard not knowing a lot of people that have adopted, especially choosing to adopt first. Russ and I cannot wait to meet other couples that have walked that same road and share our same passion ;)

God is providing us with people that share our same passion here in Tupelo as well. 2 weeks ago a group of girls got together for dinner at my house. Each one is in the process of adopting. 2 domestically, 1 from South Korea, and 1 from Uganda. It was an amazing night of hearing what had brought each of us to adoption and how God was doing miraculous things in each of our lives. I cannot wait to have our next night...hopefully with more people that are interested in adoption.

I am so thankful for these "connections" and how God is weaving our lives together :)

What If?

2010-09-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

Love this!! Dreaming and writing a few "what if's." Sometimes the "what if's" are scary but I love how he says choosing not to do them are like death.

Do you have some "what if's"....you know...the ones that have stuck days and weeks after initially thinking of them? I know I do...

Undeserved Privilege

2010-08-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

"Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of undeserved privilege where we now stand..." Romans 5:2

This isn't the whole passage, but I love the term undeserved privilege. Our culture is a world of undeserved privilege. We like to think that we have what we have because we worked hard, we tried hard, we saved and pushed our way to get where we are. That's really not true.

Because we work so hard, it's easy for us to think we deserve the things we have. These are privileges that we work and sweat for. It's ours. We love that about ourselves. And although there's nothing wrong with hard work(in fact it's a biblical principle), the message of the gospel is that we earn nothing. We get to participate in the privileges of God even though we don't deserve it.

I've only shared this with a few people, but there's a part of me that wants to brag about this adoption thing. The process has been long and difficult. People have been overwhelmingly helpful, but Anna and I have both worked hard to get where we are. Now it feels like we are in the home stretch, and there's a part of me that wants to say "I've earned this." However, the reality is that God has been at work at this before it even popped into our heads. When I read "undeserved privilege", I hear that God does all the work of redemption. God does all the work of adoption.

It's humbling. It's wonderful to be a part of. More than anything, it's comforting to know that my hard work gets me very little. It's just a response to the God who has already done all the work. I just get a lot of undeserved privilege. It's a pretty nice perk.

Russ

2010-08-16T19:58:00.000-07:00

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

¹ O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

⁵ You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, ^[a] you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

¹⁶ your eyes saw my unformed body.
       All the days ordained for me
       were written in your book
       before one of them came to be.

¹⁷ How precious to ^[b] me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!

¹⁸ Were I to count them,
       they would outnumber the grains of sand.
       When I awake,
       I am still with you.

¹⁹ If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!

²⁰ They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.

²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?

²² I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

²⁴ See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Needed this today....said it out loud and proclaimed it :) Hope it speaks to you today too.

1 year ago

2010-08-10T06:21:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe that it has been ONE year since we decided to adopt from Ethiopia. Last year on this day, I was a wreck!!! I cried all day because I just knew God had opened my heart to adoption AND opened my heart to ANY child and plan that He had for us....not just the plan that I THOUGHT I wanted. On this day, Russ picked me up to drive to Okolona for a Ghana mission meeting. It was on that ride that I start crying and telling him that I am ready and OPEN for the child God has for us. We decided that we did want a multi-racial family and that was part of the plan. We debated between a domestic (US) adoption or an Ethiopian adoption.

It was at this point that I think we could have gone either way and I think either way would have been great!!! But, I had been reading many Ethiopian blogs and even read the book "There is no me without you." (which I highly recommend!!!!). It was like the blur of the past year finally made sense. The fact that I had thrown away an Ethiopian adoption packet the year before...because we were "not doing that" made this decision even better. My heart had been closed off because of fear. Fear of the process, what being a multi-racial family would look like, how our family and friends would react, etc. But, on this day, all of those things didn't seem to matter. I finally knew what my heart wanted...and it wanted WHATEVER child GOd had for us to parent. AH, the freedom I felt on that day!!!

We chose Ethiopia and in Russ' words "there was no turning back." Many questioned why not the United States and truthfully, I feel like we will probably adopt from the US at some point. All I can say is that I believe this little girl from Ethiopia was planned long before time to be OUR little girl. God does not just see the US when He views the world and He calls for us to care for others in our neighborhoods, cities, states, country, and even the world.

We went that night and prayed with some close friends of ours. Having knew that we wanted a girl and that we would name her Lucy...it was that night that I found Lucy Lane's coming home video. What perfect timing. I had never seen her blog and how "convenient" for me to see it right after we had made the decision when I was freaking out a little.

We have been on the waitlist for almost 7 months. She was so real to us last August but even more so today.

Lucy,

During this period of waiting, know that you are loved. Your daddy and I cannot wait until the day that we get to see your little face. While on paper, the decision was only made one year ago....you have been in our hearts for many years. While waiting is hard...I trust in God's timing and plan. I hope you feel so loved today....by us but ultimately by our great Father.

Radical

2010-08-07T13:59:00.000-07:00

I recently just finished reading Radical by David Platt. I've heard of this book for some time but didn't have a strong desire to read it. On a whim I picked up the book at Barnes and Noble and decided to purchase it. Now, while there are some extreme statements in this book and it is no substitute for The Word, it has challenged me and unnerved me. You know, one of those books that I almost wish I hadn't read because now I am forced to wrestle with some issues I would rather push away.

I am comfortable. I have a pretty nice house in the exact neighborhood I wanted...a wonderful husband....a dog and soon to be daughter. I live a comfortable life. But, I almost think when our life is comfortable...we are not truly living the life God created us to live. When we are comfortable we are not dependent on Him. God has been challenging us on this....especially when we decided to adopt from Ethiopia. I was not comfortable with adopting a child that didn't look like us. Now, don't start throwing stones....I am just being honest. It took me by surprise when I realized that was in my heart. God worked on my heart for a year and now I am so excited I can hardly stand it. But, I would not call the process "comfortable." I would call it amazing, crazy, and completely reliant on Him, but not comfortable.

God is breaking us in some other areas of this as well....so please pray that Russ and I would be willing to truly serve Him and to quit chasing the American dream and be radical in our pursuit of "making disciples" which to me means bringing others to Him through relationships for His glory.

I have heard people say that after reading this book...they felt like they must just sell everything and move across the world. While I am sure that is exactly what God intends for some and perhaps I will do at some point... I also feel like the book challenged me to be radical in Tupelo, MS where I am called right now.

A few quotes I underlined:

"How many of us are embracing the comforts of suburban America while we turn a deaf ear to inner cities in need of the gospel?"

"This is how God works. He puts His people in positions where they are desperate for his power, and then he shows his provision in ways that display his greatness."

"Fundamentally, the gospel is the revelation of who God is, who we are, and how we can be reconciled to him. Yet in the America dream, where self reigns as king (or queen), we have a dangerous tendency to misunderstand, minimize, and even manipulate the gospel in order to accommodate our assumptions and desires. As a result, we desperately need to explore how much of our understanding of the gospel is American and how much is biblical. And in the process we need to examine whether we have misconstrued a proper response to the gospel and maybe even missed the primary reward of the gospel, which is God himself."

"It's a foundational truth: God creates, blesses, and saves each of us for a radically global purpose. But if we are not careful, we will be tempted to make exceptions. We will be tempted to adopt spiritual smoke screens and embrace national comforts that excuse us from the global plan of Christ. And in the process we will find ourselves settling for lesser plans that the culture around us - and even the church around us - deems more admirable, more manageable, and more comfortable."

This post is heavy....just wanted to let you all know what is going on in Anna's life :)

Have a great Saturday night!!

Anna

ps--still no referral :( we are at 6 1/2 months now. Hopefully, it won't be long!!!

A Birthday Queen and cookies

2010-07-27T09:59:00.000-07:00

We had a celebration for my Meme's 85th birthday!! Blair made these cute cookies for the occasion! And they were oh so good.....

You should really order her cookies (and I promise I am not saying that just because she is giving Lucy half her proceeds....they really are that good ) :)

She can literally make a cookie for any occasion you have.

This was the birthday girl...how sassy is she??? So cute in her crown and boa. She had a wonderful 85th birthday....and just so you know...you can find her on facebook. She is the facebook QUEEN!!! :)

2010-07-19T00:01:00.000-07:00

Today marks SIX months since we have been on the official waiting list. We are getting there...the estimates still say that the average time is 6-9 months so we are now in countdown mode!!! 5 and 1/2 months flew by but now the days are getting long. We are trying to enjoy life pre-children because we know our lives will change BUT everything we do .....we think of her doing it with us. We have almost been on this journey for 1 year...which is just crazy ....but we are so thankful for the people that have poured into our lives. Russ and I have a full life....we are so fortunate to get to experience it with such great people. Thanks for loving us. We shall see if we get to our Month 7 post....maybe we will have a referral by then!!!!

I will never....

2010-07-18T12:00:00.000-07:00

Just thought I would show you my track record with saying "I will never..."

1. I will never be a teacher.

   I knew from an early age that I wanted to be a pediatrician. (Even though for a few moments when I was young I would tell people I wanted to be a child's pediatrician ...hmmmm......didn't know there was any other type of pediatrician. :) After a year and a half of college and meeting Russ....I just did not have a peace about staying in pre-med. I wanted it to be right so badly but it just wasn't. I remember driving home from Oxford to tell my parents I was switching to education. I taught for several years and now work at a girl's group home. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.....perhaps I will just always do different jobs....which is okay with me!!

2. I will never enter the gates of Camp Lake Stephens again.

   I went to Camp Lake Stephens in Oxford, MS for the first time as a third-grader. I had a horrible time...which included a hill, a tornado, a paper-bag, and lots of screaming and crying. I stated that I would NEVER be back. Since that day I have now....attended camp there as an 18 year old, worked two summers as a camp counselor, met my husband through Camp Lake Stephens, was proposed to at the lake at camp, AND was married there. How is that for a "I will never" statement???

3. I will never adopt from Ethiopia.

That's right. We were given a pamphlet on Ethiopian adoption in 2008. I threw it in the trash and stated that we would never do that.

4. I will never live in New Albany (or Tupelo) when I grow up.
   I loved where I grew up but I wanted out. I wanted to move away from the area and even stated that I would never live in New Albany or Tupelo when I grew up. I have now lived in Tupelo for almost 4 years :)

I love when these happen....it just shows me how so not-in-control I am and how much God has worked on my heart. I am so thankful that He knows best and that He knows my heart/desires/wishes more than I. Be careful what you say I will never to.....you just never know :)

What are some of your "I will never's?"

Abba Changes Everything

2010-07-17T20:33:00.000-07:00

My sweet boss recommended that I read an article in July's issue of Christianity Today. The article had some great thoughts on adoption, evangelism, spiritual warfare, and orphans. You can click HERE to read the full article.

"The gospel of adoption challenges us, first of all, to recognize ourselves as spiritual orphans. The gospel compels us to see our fallen universe - and our own egocentric kingdoms therein - as not the way it's supposed to be." - Russell D. Moore

And just as we are to do something about others not knowing our true Abba, Father....those spiritual orphans....we are also to do something about those without families.

"Not every Christian is called to adopt or foster a child. But every Christian is called to care for orphans." - Russell D. Moore

I am just going to be honest....and this is coming from a completely non-judgemental view.....but sometimes I want this quote to be different. I want families to really think about adoption or fostering. I do believe there are many ways to help the orphan situation.....other than adopting or fostering. But, I truly believe there are many out there that think of adopting but just chalk it up to "but we could never do that." But, the great thing is...you can!!! We were so scared (and still are :) ) but with God's great grace and mercy... we are doing this!! and so can you.

I think sometimes adoption is a little more accepted in various places. We do get "the look" sometimes. You know...the look .....like you are a little strange and maybe a little crazy. Like...I know that adoption might be great for you but that is just not for me. I know...some view adopting (especially when it is a choice) as crazy. But to us....it is just the next step and this is how God is forming our family. If you are reading this...please stop and consider adoption or fostering. If you are the praying type...just ask God to show you His plan. I pray for boldness because it can be very scary and overwhelming. The night we decided to adopt from Ethiopia...I stayed awake all night thinking "what have we done?????" :)

But, God can do amazing things...sometimes we just have to step out of our comfort zones and allow Him to use us. Ah, I am so not good at this. But, I can tell you I feel more at peace about this adoption than anything else in my life. God has amazing plans and doesn't necessarily need us...but, thankfully He chooses to use us. I want to try and open myself up to be used by Him. I have tasted what it is like to be 100% open to Him and I LOVE how free it feels. Praying some hearts would be open to adoption tonight...especially in our area.

Thanks for reading my Saturday Night Ramblings.....Good Night!!!

2010-07-17T19:59:00.000-07:00

Love this and am dreaming of the day we step off the plane with Lucy. You can check out their blog at http://www.babeofmyheart.com or by clicking HERE.

Cookies for a Cause

2010-07-10T07:32:00.000-07:00

Our fabulous friend Blair Curtis makes cookies that are o so cute and o so good!!! She contacted me last week with this idea. She wants to help get Lucy home by donating to us half of her cookie proceeds!!! So, spread the word.....starting July 12th .....she will do this. Here are some pics of a few of her cookies.

They are sooooo cute and tasty!! They are great for showers, birthdays, work functions, school functions, just to eat, etc. Cookies are $1.50 each or $2.25 each (if they are wrapped in a bag with ribbon).

You can contact Blair at blaircurtis14@comcast.net to place your cookie order (mention Lucy when you do). She can do anything you need her to :) Please share this with anyone you know as well :)

Again, we are overwhelmed by the support Lucy has been given. God is faithful!!!

I Dream of Lucy

2010-07-09T19:28:00.000-07:00

I Dream of Lucy....originally posted in November 2009:

Adoption is hard. I had heard that before but didn't realize how true it was until now. My emotions are crazy. Some days are totally fine and then others I cry for no reason. all. day. long. Today is an emotional one. I just looked at pictures of my friends with their babies for Halloween and for some reason it made me sad. We have only been in the process for 3 months (almost) but she has been with us for over two years.

I sometimes leave the specifics of "Lucy's Story" out because I don't want people to think we are weird. But, I am realizing all of these details are significant to her story because it shows just how amazing and big God is.

Tonight I want to share the first time God showed us a part of His plan.

Russ and I were friends for almost two years before we dated. During that time we would stay up late talking about everything imaginable (because we were just friends, right? ). I remember us talking about how we both felt like we would adopt one day. It was after this conversation that I am sure he went and watched sportscenter and I went home to plan the wedding because I just knew he HAD to be the one....

We were married in 2005. When kids were discussed, we talked of adoption. We fooled ourselves some days into thinking we would adopt later in life but most of the time we knew God had called us to adopt our first child. Russ says most of his life he knew he would adopt his first child and that it would be a girl.

One night, in October 2006, I woke up from a dream. In the dream I was holding a baby girl, wrapped in a white blanket. I was gazing at her but could not see her face or what she looked like. When I awoke I just knew that I was pregnant or that we should begin trying.

The next night I woke from the exact same dream...except this time I thought maybe we should adopt. I woke Russ and told him the news. He agreed.

The third night, I woke up from the same dream and can still remember exactly how I felt. I KNEW. I have never longed for/missed something so much in my life. My heart ached for her. I woke up Russ and told him that I missed her. The amazing thing was that he understood. He didn't ask questions like "but you haven't met her yet?"...he just got it.

It was that night that we realized God had a baby girl for us and that His plan was bigger than we could imagine. I love that I couldn't see what she looked like....and to be honest, it didn't matter....I just knew she was mine.

Sitting in the belly of a whale

2010-07-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

You know those days....those days where you just need some good news. Well, this verse came to me at just the right time :) Hope it encourages you today.

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up."

Galatians 6:9

I easily give up.. but God is teaching me endurance right now. When everything inside of me wants to give up...God ever-so-gently whispers...DO NOT GIVE UP.

I have been reading Jonah and am experiencing it in a new way.

Jonah 1:3
"But Jonah ran away from the LORD and headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from the LORD." ........I have so been here...running from the Lord.

But God again whispers DO NOT GIVE UP.

You see Jonah went on to do what the Lord asked and the Lord was faithful to him and the people of Nineveh.

Praise God for His faithfulness even when I doubt and worry.

2010-06-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

CELEBRATING:

Bill (Anna's Dad), Terry (Russ' Dad)

These are two amazing men. Both Russ and I have fathers that provided and loved for us growing up....and still do!!! These men would do anything for us.....and I know that they will do the same for LUCY. She will be one SPOILED little girl with these two around.

Russ, Happy Father's Day to you. While Lucy is not with us yet....she is already a part of us. You will be an amazing Dad. You love me so well so it will only be natural for you to love her well. I cannot wait to see the two of you together. I have dreamed of that image a million times...and I am getting closer to actually seeing it :) Thank you for making life more fun.

REMEMBERING:

Tom Cornelius "Pop" (Anna's grandfather)

Tom Burchfield "Granddaddy" (Anna's Grandfather)

"The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother..."

- Theodore Hesburgh

These two did that well. They loved my grandmother's well. I miss them both so much. It still hurts to see my grandmother's missing them but am so thankful for their example. Both of their marriages taught me so much about what I wanted in a marriage. They exhibited friendship, love, and servanthood...which Russ and I strive to keep in the forefront of our marriage.

Happy Father's Day.

5 months

2010-06-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

I cannot believe we have been on the waiting list for 5 months!! Time has flown by but...it has started to slow down. We are so ready to get Lucy home. We are really trying to not rush this time..to completely trust in God's timing. Which we do. BUT, some days are harder than others. Part of our family is across the world. We wonder what is going on in her life, we pray for her first mom and family, we pray for God's presence in their lives.

I have not emailed or contacted our social worker in 5 months....which I was so proud of myself. But, yesterday, I thought I had earned the right to check in with her and see if she knew anything on our case. She did not. But, the good news is that referrals have not slowed down and the current wait time is 6 - 8 1/2 months. She even used the phrase "in the homestretch" to refer to our status. Thanks for supporting us...she is already one loved little girl!!!

2010-06-17T07:01:00.000-07:00

The night Russ and I decided to adopt from Ethiopia ....I was up late searching blogs...pretty much freaking out. We knew it would be a girl and we would name her Lucy. That night was the night I came across Lucy Lane's blog. God used her video to confirm that we had made the right choice.

I had the amazing opportunity to meet Lucy Lane (and Kristy) and am so thankful for the insight she gave.

Well, now Lucy Lane has been home for 1 year and they have the cutest video to celebrate her first year. Check out the end of the video where they have pictures of all the families that decided to adopt because of her video and story. We are honored to be one of those families!!!!

Lucy Lane Gotcha Day - One Year Later from kristi johnson on Vimeo.

I cannot wait to have our video of our Lucy's first year home!!!

Whew.

2010-06-14T20:19:00.000-07:00

The past two weeks have been amazing....but very full! I got the great experience of going to Nicaragua to visit my new friends Rick and Mary Ervin. I will post more about that trip later. I was in town for a couple of days ....in which I got to celebrate my birthday. Russ decorated the back porch with beautiful white lights....so sweet! Lastly, I went to the beach with my mom's family (plus my mother-in-law). What a great time...experiencing God's creation...with people that I love. Here are my last two weeks in pictures:

Active Volcano in Nicaragua

Market in Granada (the oldest city in Nicaragua)

Our back porch for my birthday :)

Gulf Shores, AL

My mom and my Granny (Sure wish my granddaddy was in this picture)

My sweet Mother-in-law Birdie

Me telling Russ to point to the place where Lucy will hopefully be sitting next year....you can tell from his expression what a GREAT idea he thought that was:) Oh, I wish she were here with us already!

LOST Finale

2010-05-30T20:38:00.000-07:00

Sorry, I am a little behind posting pics but....here are some from our LOST party we had with our friends Beth and Ben. If you do not watch LOST...these will mean nothing to you:)

LOST cupcakes

With Hurley's numbers.....

On the Menu: Mr. Cluck's Chicken

Fruit

Dharma Salsa Con Queso

Dharma Cola

Apollo bars

And Charlie's hand :)

There have been mixed reviews on the finale but The Polsgrove household liked it. I do hate that the show is over......we loved our Tuesday nights watching it with friends.

Pics (Finally)

2010-05-29T20:55:00.000-07:00

It has been CRAZY around here!! But, I did want to show you pics from our BBQ Fundraiser. We made over $3,000 which was amazing. We want to thank Ms. Debbie, Pat and Sarah, and all of our amazing friends who did a great job planning and doing this fundraiser for us. We also want to thank Mr. Jim from BBQ by Jim's for hosting us :) Thanks to Brandy again for donating the perfumes for our raffle....we made around $400 off of the raffle!!!!!

Russ and I were able to enjoy the night and talk with so many people. Some we already knew but many we did not. It was so cool to be able to tell them Lucy's story. Hopefully, God will stir hearts towards adoption. We would love to see people in our community adopt...there are so many children out there that need a loving home.

We are getting really close to reaching our travel budget......thank you to all of our friends and people in our community that have supported us in this. God has blown us away with support. Hopefully, we will receive that referral soon!!!

Awesome friends!!!

Awesome youth!!!

Awesome people helping out in the kitchen.

Thanks again Sarah for all your hard work!!

Jessica selling those raffle tickets :)

Thanks Mom (aka CoCo) !

Lucy's Future Friends :)

Pat and Sawyer (Lucy's Future Friend as well )

Margaret counting the money we made.

Lucy's awesome "aunts."

Month 4

2010-05-19T09:13:00.000-07:00

Today marks Month 4 that we have been on the waiting list!!! They say the estimates for a referral are 5 1/2 months to 9 1/2 months so we are getting there! We simply cannot wait to get that call and see a picture of our precious baby girl!! We are still trying to rest in the fact that God has had this planned since the beginning of time so He knows what is best.

Happy 5th Anniversary to Us

2010-05-14T00:01:00.000-07:00

Russ and I celebrate 5 years of being married today. Our journey together has been an amazing one....full of ups, downs, friendship, fun, and laughter.

I thank God for the joy He has given me through this man. I am cherished, adored, loved, supported, and cared for. I thank God I married my very best friend. This life would not be quite as fun without him in it :)

"Love is friendship set on fire." ---Jeremy Taylor

Song of Solomon 8:7

"Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away."

Mother's Day

2010-05-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

First I want to say that I have the best mom, mother-in-law, mamaw, Granny, and Meme in the world. I treasure them and they have all shaped me to become who I am today.

Mother's Day was a tough day. I didn't think it would be...honestly didn't think too much about it. I woke up to a card from Russ. Do you remember the song "Stacy's mom has got it going on" ??? Well, the front of my card said "Lucy's mom has got it going on." MADE MY DAY! I love my husband.

Next I went to my cousin Lauren's son Cason's dedication. The last time I was in that church was at my grandfather's funeral. Also, Cason was my grandfather's prized possession so it was so hard to experience that day without him. The entire time I thought about Lucy. Was she born yet, if she was...was she okay...when would we get to meet her..... I felt like I had this huge secret. A few people made mention that I really was a mother but most of the people I met that day had no clue. No clue that I think, dream, crave my child that is across the world. She is so real to us. We talk of her everyday.

While most days I am sure that God's plan was correct (as if I know better??) about my grandfather passing. But then I just miss him....which leads me to thinking about my last conversation with him....which was about Lucy. I then mourn all over again the fact that they did not get to meet here on this Earth.

And then God does His thing and gives me hope and peace just when I am at the end of my rope. This time I had myself a good little cry and then praised Him for this journey called life.

oh, and just one more thing. There are ways to be a mother other than birthing a child. My mom and aunt are mothers to many of their students, my aunt practically raised us, etc. Thank you to all the women out there that play a role as a mother. You have no idea the impact you are making on someone's life.

Run Forrest Run

2010-05-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

Russ and I both ran the Gumtree 10 K race on Saturday. Let's just say his goal was to finish faster than his previous race....mine was just to run the entire race and finish.....without throwing up :) We both achieved our goals!!!! And it was actually fun.....sort of.

Raffle Winner

2010-05-07T14:32:00.000-07:00

Congrats to Angela McWhirter on winning the basket of fragrances!!! So fitting that she would win...her and her husband adopted a daughter from Russia. They were one of the first people we met with when we started thinking about adoption :)

Thanks to my lovely assistant Jessica for drawing for us.

Shaking up the tickets.

And...drawing.

Winner!!!!

I know you are so glad I did a play-by-play with pictures. Now you can all feel like you were present for the drawing!

Thanks so much for supporting us. There are times where I feel like we constantly ask for people to support us...but I know deep down these are all God's ways of providing for this adoption and showing us what it means to truly live in community with others.

Also, thanks to my cousin Brandy for donating the basket for us to raffle. Such a creative way to raise money. Thanks Brandy ;)

We are still on the waiting list. Continue to pray for God's timing and for our baby girl.

Taco Bell is Awesome.

2010-05-01T09:29:00.000-07:00

These guys rule.

wow.

2010-04-30T11:55:00.000-07:00

The BBQ fundraiser went GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!! We have the best friends, family, and community!! We truly could not do this without the great help. We raised around $3,200 ....which was amazing (Ephesians 3:20). I will post pics of the night soon, I promise :)

Remember, we are still selling raffle tickets for the box of fragrances for Mother's Day. The set is worth over $400!!!! Tickets are $5 for one or $10 for three. You can use paypal (on the right side of the blog) to pay, leave a comment and we can work out the money, or email me (annapolsgrove@gmail.com) :)

We draw for the winner next Friday, May 7th at noon!!! (pics of the basket are posted in the previous post)

Thanks so much for the support and for spreading the word. All we have left is to pay for our travel....which we almost have half of :) We love you guys. Thanks for reading and thanks for supporting us!

Raffle for Mother's Day

2010-04-22T00:01:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to be doing a raffle for our adoption. My sweet cousin works at a department store and wanted to help with the adoption. So, she donated a basket of popular perfumes....over $400 worth!!!

If you would like to purchase a raffle ticket, you can pay using Pay Pal (on the right side of our blog). Make sure to put all necessary info in and we will then put your name on the ticket (s). Due to the heaviness of the basket...we will not be able to ship so keep that in mind when determining if you want to buy a ticket or not ;)

We will also have tickets available for sale at our BBQ fundraiser this Monday or you can contact me to buy ticket (s) at annapolsgrove@gmail.com!!!

Tickets are $5 for one.

OR $10 for three.

We will draw for the winner on Friday, May 7th....just in time for Mother's Day. Thanks so much for helping us with our adoption!!!!! We are so thankful!!!!

Brother vs Sister

2010-04-21T20:34:00.000-07:00

Russ and Leigh Ann (my sister-in-law) ran a half-marathon on Saturday. I ran my little 5k:) They stayed together the entire race but once they saw the finish line...you can tell from this picture what happened!!!! Not sure who actually won but this is not the first time I have seen these faces!!!! They are quite competitive :)

Russ was very nervous about the race but he did great!!!!! So proud of him!

Tres

2010-04-19T11:46:00.000-07:00

Today marks 3 months since we have been on the official waiting list!!! Some days time is flying by...others it is cr e e p ing. They still estimate 5 -9 months for a referral so we are getting there!!! Continue to pray for our Lucy...we don't know if she is born yet or not...but we would love all the prayers we can get :)

Happy Late Birthday Baby Will!!

2010-04-18T19:43:00.000-07:00

My brother turned 25 on Friday!! He is my baby brother but at 6'3" he is more like my big brother! I am so proud of him.....and so proud to call him my brother.

He has overcome many obstacles in his life but they have truly helped shape him into an amazing person. I cannot wait to see him and Lucy together one day. He wants her to either call him Uncle Big Will or Crunkle Will (which stands for crunk uncle :) )

There are two things for sure though..he will make sure she owns camouflage and knows how to hunt...two things that I will just have to get used to :)....I guess.

Happy Birthday Will!!!! We love you so much!!

Will and his dog (aka child) Duke

Russ and Will showing off their "guns"

Random Fact Friday

2010-04-16T16:07:00.000-07:00

Russ and I went to eat at the Rendezvous in Memphis. As we were walking out of the front door...I was looking down (as usual)....not paying attention (as usual) and pretty much in a meat coma from all of the sausage and bbq I had eaten. I looked up right as I was face to chest with a man. The face that I saw took me by surprise.... it was Dr. Carter. That's right...I almost plowed down Noah Wyle.

He smiled ....I looked mortified...we are now best friends.

That same night we also saw

Matt Dillon

Kate Beckinsale

We are still trying to figure out if they were there filming a movie or what??? No answer yet :)

BBQ Fundraiser

2010-04-12T07:34:00.000-07:00

We are so excited about our BBQ fundraiser for Lucy!!! Praise the Lord we have paid everything we owe to our agency so we are now in the process of raising money for our travel and stay while in Ethiopia. This amount has increased since we will now have to travel to Ethiopia twice...within about 6 weeks of each other!! We completely trust that God will provide a way to complete this adoption!!

Our friends The Ward's are helping us do a fundraiser. Here are the details....we would love for you all to come (if you live in or around the Tupelo area). There will be a drive-thru or dine-in area.

Where: BBQ by Jim's (203 Commerce Street Tupelo)

When: Monday, April 26, 2010

Time: 4:30 - 7:30

What: Pulled BBQ, Slaw, Baked Beans, Roll, Dessert, Water or Tea

Price: $8.50

Tickets can be purchased in advanced at BBQ by Jim's or The Cotton Bolt (1727 McCullough Blvd.) OR from us (and some of our wonderful friends) :)

Tickets can also be purchased at door.

Please spread the word.....we are so excited about this!!! Leave a comment or email if you need more info :)