I've Been Thinking About Something

*****This post was intended for Friday, February 19th.

Today two very important events took place.  One being my grandfather's funeral and the other us being on the official waitlist for one month.  I must confess...my heart is devastated by my grandfather's passing.  But, it is amazing how God can create good and peace in any situation.  He certainly has done that for us.
       Granddaddy came out of surgery on Thursday, February 11th.  They removed over half his liver (including the cancerous part) and was doing great!!  I went into his ICU room that night and spent an hour or so.  I held his hand listening to him sing God's praises.  He told of the peace God had given him the night before the surgery.  That night he went to bed knowing that the next day he would stare death in the face yet never had a negative thought, fear or anxiety...just peace. 
    My aunt told of how the night before, my grandparents, both being in their individual twin beds in the hospital room, spent the night rotating from one bed to the next just to snuggle together.  Oh, how I pray Russ and I will be like this after 56 years of marriage. My grandmother told me how he sang to her that morning..just as he always did.
       On Friday I spent the entire day with him.  A day I will never forget.  We talked of how excited we were that he would be there when Lucy came home.  He then said those five words that he said so often "I've been thinking about something."  He proceded to tell me his thoughts on Lucy.  I knew he supported us but we had not really talked too specifically about it.  He had sent us an article on Ethiopian religion...which talked of how some worshipped God along with a long list of other gods.
     He then proceded to tell me that God wants all people to know him and that God was using Russ and me.  He described us as tools that God was using so that Lucy could know and hear about Him.  How maybe Lucy would never have known God if we were not being obedient...how God's plan is so much bigger than ours and how he loves us all so much.  He then grabbed my chin...pulled me down to his face and told me how much he loved me.
     That was my last conversation with him.  I arrived on Tuesday, February 16th right before he went to be with Jesus.  My heart broke but God gave us so much peace.  The image in my head of my granddaddy seeing Jesus for the first time was almost too much.  Oh, how he loved Jesus.  But then my heart sank.  He wouldn't be there to meet Lucy.....

At that moment God whispered in my ear...."You have an amazing story and legacy to share with her."  My last conversation with him was about her!!  How he loved her and how he wanted her to know God's love!!!  Thank you Jesus for that conversation.  What an amazing conversation I will have with her one day. My heart still grieves over them not getting to meet but I am so thankful for God's tenderness and compassion he had by allowing us to have that conversation.

Samuel Hamilton Was a Good Man

Samuel Hamilton is a character in East of Eden. He is a man of great integrity. Principled and dignified, he is one of my favorite characters in any story I've ever read or seen. Whenever he enters the story, whenever his name is mentioned, you know that he will do right. He is a man who never has too much, always has enough, and always provides for his family. I've thought about him a lot this week.

I found out that Hamilton is based on Steinbeck's own grandfather. That makes sense to me. When Tom Burchfield passed away this week, I told friends that Tom was just like Samuel Hamilton. He was a man that always did right. He was deeply principled. He was the embodiment of a good man. That's what people would call him, a good man.

The first time I met him, he gave me a handshake. Since then I've only gotten hugs from him. He was warm and gracious, but in the manliest and noblest way you can imagine. When we first found out he got sick, he faced it in the the manliest and noblest way you can imagine. And the thing about it is, you wouldn't expect him to react any other way.

The fundamental belief of the Christian faith is that we are all severely messed up. It's only Jesus that makes us right. I've never met a man who was more aware of that truth than Anna's grandaddy. All he ever wanted was for people to know that we are all severely messed up, and only Jesus could make us right. When we talk to families at The Orchard, we often say that 100 years from now the only thing that is going to matter is a person's relationship with Christ. That's really the only legacy we leave with us. It's the only one we carry with us after we're gone. Well, 100 years from now there are going to be plenty of people who know Jesus, and they'll know it because 100 years before them, Tom Burchfield was on the earth. Family members and friends and friends of friends who all will draw close to the God who loves us because that's the thing that Tom cared about more than anything.

When Samuel Hamilton dies, it's sad. And the reason it's sad is because you selfishly want him to keep re-entering the story. It makes the story better for you. That's how we feel with Tom. We are sad because he makes our story better. But in his mind, his story is just a part of the greatest story ever told, and he is celebrating that right now, even as we mourn. He is at a pretty nice party.

Party on, Tom.

Finishing the race

My sweet granddaddy is dancing in heaven today.  He was the greatest man I knew.  He loved Jesus and couldn't wait to see Him.  No one wanted to see Jesus more than him and now he is.  Oh, I wish I could see that sight.  In my granddaddy's words, "I have claimed this verse the past couple of months and I think it has claimed me too."

"He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust. Surely he shall deliver thee from the snare of the fowler, and from the noisome pestilence. He shall cover thee with his feathers, and under his wings shalt thou trust: his truth shall be thy shield and buckler." Psalm 91:1-4

I wrote here: http://annaandruss.blogspot.com/2010/01/running-race.html about the race my granddaddy was running.  Well, he finished the race and he finished well. He accomplished his task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.  He was still sharing God's love in the hospital...witnessing to all that would listen :)  

Even though he knew his life could be towards the end, my sweet granddaddy still completely trusted in God. He knew the cancer could beat him but he fought the good fight, kept the faith, and finished his race.  I can hear God telling him now "well done my good and faithful servant."  

Acts 20:24 

However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

2 Timothy 4:7

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

I love you granddaddy and miss you already.  I couldn't be more proud to be your granddaughter....ole Anna banana.

Rest and hope

I opened a devotional to today's date and thought I would share with you what it said.  I completely needed this today!!  


"Come to Me for rest and refreshment.  The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary.  Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion.  Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life. 


Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different.  Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be.  You will get through today one step, one moment at a time.  Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway.


This sounds like an easy assignment, but it is not.  Your desire to live in My Presence goes against the grain of "the world, the flesh, and the devil."  Much of your weariness results from your constant battle against these opponents.  However, you are on the path of My choosing, so do not give up!  Hope in Me, for you will again praise Me for the help of My Presence.


------taken from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young


Romans 8:28
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."


Psalm 42:11
" Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

Hey friends!!!

Just want to know who all reads this here blog....leave us a comment telling us who you are :)

Have a great Tuesday!!

Strength

***Note to you precious readers...the issue of perfection and "doing it all on my own" is something I work through on a daily basis.  These are just a few notes and things I have been learning and working through in the past couple of weeks. Thought I would share some of my random thoughts in hopes that they provide you with encouragement for today.

Strength.  This is the word God has been pouring on me the last couple of weeks.  Sometimes life just gets difficult...almost too much to bear.  Circumstances (or just the day to day) can leave you weary and exhausted.

When I have moments that are difficult in my life...my first thought is "What can I do to FIX this?"  or "What can I do to make sure everything is perfect and everyone is happy?"  Well,  those are great questions completely crazy questions....life is not always perfect, neat, tidy ....packaged with a bow on top.  I (we) cannot fix everything or everyone.  There is nothing that will suck the life out of us more than trying to control all of life's circumstances and outcomes .

We can survive on our own strength for a bit..then even that seems to disappear. My desire is to be a person that relies on Christ's strength instead of my own. So many times I continue to rely on my own strength instead of the only true ONE that can provide it.

 HE is our only true source of strength.  He will provide all the strength we need.  In any circumstance or situation.

There is no battle that He can't equip us to fight.  No mountain too tall or valley too wide.  We don't have to pull our ownselves up...He will do that for us :)


Psalm 46:10
""Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

2 Samuel 22:33
 "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."

Psalm 18:32

"It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect."

Psalm 46:1
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."

Psalm 73:26
"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Isaiah 40:29
"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak."

Daniel 10:19
"Do not be afraid, O man highly esteemed," he said. "Peace! Be strong now; be strong." When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, "Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength."

Habakkuk 3:19
"The Sovereign LORD is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."

This Journey

So we've officially been waitlisted.  I know that's not a word, but it's where we are.

That means....we wait.

And to be honest, I'm ok with that.  We haven't had to wait very much since this process started.  Everything has moved so much faster than I thought it would, but honestly I've been thinking August or September would be the time she would get here, and if the "averages" pan out, then it could be that time.  There's too many variables for us to be sure of that, but nonetheless it's been a whirlwind.

A few months ago I was talking with a friend of mine about some passages in the book of Mark, and he kept commenting about how the disciples walked with Jesus every day, but there are so many accounts of them being blown away by what he'd done.  "You'd think they wouldn't be surprised by him after a few weeks..."

And throughout this entire process, there's at least one day per week where I wake up and think, "what the crap are we doing?  There is no way this can be of God."  Then he shows me that things are going to be ok.

This is going to sound like an exaggeration, but every time I get concerned about money, we get a check and a note from someone who says they support us.  Every single time I get fed up with waiting, we get news about how we're further along in the process.  Every single time I get concerned about reactions from people I'm close to, I get phone calls asking me how the process is going.

I know this isn't always true for everyone, and I know this almost sounds like false doctrine because I keep portraying God as Santa on steroids.  But this is how it's happened for us.  This is how it has come about for our daughter Lucy.  My life as a follower of Christ hasn't all been daisies and chocolate fountains and rainbow smiles, and this adoption journey has had its share of difficulties, but God has shown us over and over that He is good.  He is a part of this.

This I cannot deny.

Russ

mountains moved

I stayed up Friday night...waiting to see that first picture of Amos united with his mom and dad.  Strange...I know...since i do not know Aaron or Jamie Ivey personally but I do know what it is like to want your children home.  They have been trying to get Amos home from Haiti for 2 1/2 years.  And Friday night...that is what happened.  Click here or here to read more about Amos' adoption and amazing story.

Mighty to Save (Hillsong)

Everyone needs compassion,

Love that's never failing;

Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,

The kindness of a Saviour;

The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,

My God is Mighty to save,

He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,

He rose and conquered the grave,

Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,

All my fears and failures,

Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow

Everything I believe in,

Now I surrender.

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,

My God is Mighty to save,

He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,

He rose and conquered the grave,

Jesus conquered the grave. 

Shine your light and let the whole world see,

We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus (x2)

My Saviour, He can move the mountains,

My God is Mighty to save,

He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,

He rose and conquered the grave,

Jesus conquered the grave. 

My Saviour, you can move the mountains,

You are mighty to save,

You are mighty to save.

Forever, Author of Salvation,

You rose and conquered the grave,

Yes you conquered the grave

January 8th

My friend Margaret is a videographer and she wants to do a video of Lucy's Story.  On January 8th...we were sitting together discussing the major things we wanted in the video and what we wanted the message of the video to be.  She asked the question....When did you come to like the name Lucy?

I began to search through old journals....I found the entry of when we decided on the name for our daughter that we would adopt  but...I came across another journal entry.  One from years ago.  I began to read the entry...then I looked at the date.  That's right....Janurary 8, 2006.  4 years to the day.  I hadn't realized how long ago God placed her in our hearts.  This entry is not in reference to adoption...just naming our first female child...however she came to be ours.

January 8, 2006 (excerpt from my old journal)
***Please forgive the wordiness of this entry....I tend to write like I talk...which involves many words :)


        Today has been a good day.  In church we sang We Three Kings...westward, leading still proceding..guide us to thy perfect light.  Last week when we had "the kid" (child we kept for a weekend from a local children's home) we took him to see the Chronicles of Narnia.  I love the character Lucy.  I thought then that I would like to name my child this.  At April's wedding on Dec. 31, we sat with a couple from Memphis.  They were telling us about their child.  I asked her name and they replied Lucy.  They said that they knew and loved her name before she was even conceived. 
        Later that week, we went to exchange the Bible that Russ had given me for Christmas.  While we were at the store, I started reading this book that gives all the good quotes from C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia.  I found this quote and loved it.  I want Rossetti to do a painting for our daughter whenever she comes along...hopefully years but whenever..God's timing is right.  As of right now, I still love the name Lucy.


(Prince Caspian p. 148)
"Welcome, child, " he said.
"Aslan," said Lucy, "you're bigger."
"that is because you are older, little one." answered he.
"Not because you are?"
"I am not.  But every year you grow, you will find me bigger."


As Aslan being a reference to Jesus, this would be my prayer for my child.

And today, fours years later from when this was written, this is still my prayer.

Oh, and Rossetti, I think it's time we started on this painting.  Hopefully, it won't be long now.

Waitlist

It's official!! As of January 19, 2010...we are on the waitlist to adopt from Ethiopia!!!! 

We are so excited.  The current average wait time for a referral is 8 months for a child birth to 12 months and 4 months for a child 13 months and over.  Since we are approved for a child 15 months and younger we fit into both categories.  SO, we will just wait on the child God has for us and His timing.

Thanks for praying our paperwork through!!