19

We leave for Ethiopia in 19 hours ......AH!!!!!!!!! I have no expectations for this trip but to see God work. I just had 15 women pray over me and for us....and I know God has big plans.

I am experiencing many emotions but most of all I am excited. Thank you God this day is finally here.

Done

I simply cannot believe we leave for Ethiopia in 2 days!! This does not seem real. The waiting has been so hard and long and now if feels like it went by so fast.

As we have said, we are going to stay in-country between court and embassy which can be anywhere from 3-6 weeks. But, there is a delay right now so our journey is unknown. There are a million different scenarios as to how the next 2 weeks will go. I am ultimately praying that our case is final on February 4th. But, I also know God is calling me to something more. He is calling us to pray for His will and to be content with the way He sees fit to complete this adoption journey. This makes me nervous as I type this but I know God is good and that He has worked out every detail of our adoption the past 2 years.

I believe the complications will be cleared up soon...I am believing GOd can do that. But I am also believing that He knows best and will work everything out to bring this to completion.

My friend gave me the book Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I am only on chapter 2 and it is so great! Here is an excerpt from the book that really spoke to me.

" I need oil," said an ancient monk, so he planted an olive sapling. "Lord," he prayed. "it needs rain that its tender roots may drink and swell. Send gently showers." And the Lord sent gentle showers. "Lord," prayed the monk, "my tree needs sun. Send sun, I pray thee." And the sun shone, gilding the dripping clouds. " Now frost, my Lord, to brace its tissues," cried the monk. And behold, the little tree stood sparkling with frost, but at evening it died.

Then the monk sought the cell of a brother monk, and told his strange experience. "I, too, planted a little tree," he said, "and see! It thrives well. But I entrust my tree to its God. He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me. I laid no condition. I fixed not ways or means. 'LORD, SEND WHAT IT NEEDS,' I prayed, 'storm or sunshine, wind, rain, or frost. Thou hast made it and Thou dost know."

So, join me in praying for God's will...concerning the timing of our adoption being final, the time we will spend in Ethiopia, and us being able to bring her home! So hard for me to let go...and just trust...with no set way in my head as to how it should go. But I am tired and honestly have no control over this so I am letting go. Can't wait to see how God works.

ps--for you crazies....someone is living at our home while we are gone :)

help needed!

Okay friends that have adopted through Gladney :)

We are trying to finish our training since we leave THURSDAY and I cannot find the link to do our 2 hours of country specific training (Ethiopia part 1 and 2). Can anyone remember or show me how to do this??

THANKS SO MUCH!!!! Getting so excited!

Giving Birth

I saw this video on Kristy's blog...so touching. Makes me so thankful that our sweet baby girl survived and for her first mom.

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I can't wait to be in this country....9 days til we leave!!!!!

Solid Rock

Life is crazy right now. I have a million questions swirling in my head as we prepare to leave for Ethiopia. We leave in a little over 2 weeks.....ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As we thought about the fact that we would travel twice...once to attend court and once to attend our embassy date...we began to feel that we were to stay in country between the 2 dates. We sought wise counsel, prayed about it, talked to our employers, and the answer was an overwhelming YES that we should stay. Typically the stay would be around 3-6 weeks but there are some delays right now so it is unclear as to how long we will be there.

Questions that run through my head:

How long will we be in Ethiopia, will Russ have to come back before Lucy and I can, what if we don't have enough money to live in two places, what if the delay is LONG, what if the finalization of our adoption is delayed and we have to just visit Lucy at the foster home versus her staying with us, what about my job while I am gone, what are Russ and I going to do with a BABY with no help (aka..mom's to help), I hate to leave our dog for that long (YES, this has crossed my mind...who would have thought I would even think about a dog when I am going to get my child.....I don't even like dogs), what if something bad happens here while we are gone AND THE LIST GOES ON AND ON.

So, now that you got a glimpse into my crazy head.....let me tell you what is keeping me sane.

The fact that I will see our little girl in exactly 3 weeks. God is providing me with a calm and peace. He keeps showing me that staying is the right decision...an adventure that I have always desired. Now that the time for it is here...I get scared but I know I would regret the decision if we chose to come home. Now is the time....everything has fallen into place. We are blessed with AMAZING employers who support our decision....amazing family and friends that are making this happen......we are fully able to go to Ethiopia with the sole purpose of LOVING on our daughter. What a privilege.

While nothing happening right now is bad....I do feel like we are experiencing the torrents of rain and wind that this verse talks about. And honestly, we want to give up. But we know we are anchored.

Matthew 7:24-27

"Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won't collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and ignores it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash."

Everything inside of me just wants to collapse...but I will not. I am holding on and going to enjoy this amazing journey without regret!

Saw this video this morning from Pete Wilson -pastor of Cross Point in Nashville.....

MORE: Series Launch Promo from Cross Point Church on Vimeo.

Love this quote from the video...."The opportunity of a lifetime must be seized in the lifetime of the opportunity. "

And that is just what this journey is....the opportunity of a lifetime.

Melkam Gena!!!

Wishing my sweet baby girl a Merry Christmas! Today Ethiopia celebrates Christmas ! They use the Julian calendar which has them celebrating Christmas January 7th instead of December 25th!

Babe of My Heart has great info on Christmas in Ethiopia so click HERE to read more. We will be making Doro Wat (Ethiopian Stew) to eat today to celebrate:) Less than 3 weeks before we leave!!!!! Time is flying by!!!

More of Christmas

Christmas Time is Here

I have talked of my grandad passing away from cancer on here before. He had surgery in February to take the cancer out....unsure as to whether he would survive the surgery or not. Once he came out of surgery doing well....I let my mind go there. I pictured him with Lucy .....especially during Christmas since we thought she would be home by then.

Fast forward to Christmas....grandaddy not with us and Lucy not home yet. I thought I was prepared but apparently not. As I put the tree up after Thanksgiving....it was a sore sight. I would hang an ornament...then cry a little. Put some ribbon on the tree....cry a little. It hit me then that Christmas would be a little different this year.....that my heart would be missing two precious people. In some ways....reality hit that day. Russ suggested that I stop putting up Christmas decorations and just not decorate this year.

I...being just a tad stubborn....told him I could handle this...that Christmas was my favorite time of the year....and I just needed to grieve that day and then I would be better.

And I did. I grieved all day for the loss of my precious grandad and the loss of Lucy not being with us yet.

But also on that day I decided that I would have joy. Christmas celebrates our Savior's birth and I WOULD be joyful about that. His birth is the BEST news and this year I was going to celebrate HIM. It was that day that I felt God calling me to be still and be PRESENT with Him....to truly anticipate His birth.

During the Christmas Eve service at church....I thought about Mary like I never had before. Having a child...not knowing the circumstances.....all the unknowns yet an angel telling her not to be afraid....I had empathy for Mary......the way people must have talked about her...how she did the right thing no matter what others said....how scared she must have been....and most of all how she believed and had faith before she even knew what she was believing in.

Yes during this season we experienced some sad moments...moments where I just couldn't muster up the strength to be joyful. BUT this has been the most meaningful Christmas I have ever experienced. While the circumstances were not as I would have wanted them....the tenderness and faithfulness God lavished on us was simple amazing.

We decided early in the year we would stay home Christmas Eve. We thought Lucy would be here and we wanted to stay in our house as a family. Once we realized she wouldn't be here we decided that for the first time we would stay at our house Christmas Eve...just us. Russ and I cooked steaks, watched A Christmas Story, played Scrabble (which I won!!!), opened our gifts to each other and read from Luke. An amazing night.

We then went to bed and woke up to THIS!!!

Such a fun gift!!! A WHITE CHRISTMAS!!! Icing on the cake....my friends...icing on the cake.

"Because of God’s tender mercy,
the morning light from heaven is about to break upon us,
to give light to those who sit in darkness and in the shadow of death,
and to guide us to the path of peace.”

Luke 1:78-79

30 days

30 days until we leave for Ethiopia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT believe it is this close. January 27th cannot get here fast enough. We are so excited about spending time with our daughter and getting to explore Ethiopia. My heart is beating fast as I write this. Reality is setting in....this is not a dream....we are actually going to SEE our daughter for the first time in 34 days and when we come home .....she will be with us!!!!!

AH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is It...

Advent.

I grew up in a church in the south, but we never really celebrated advent. I mean, we went to Christmas parties. Our church read scripture about the birth of Christ. We sang all the songs. But the word "advent" didn't enter my lexicon until the past few years. Even now, I don't really spend a lot of weeks or even days preparing for the celebration of the Messiah.

I do know what it's like to wait. In August of 2009, Anna and I started the process of adopting a child from Ethiopia. We had discussed this for years, and finally took the definitive step forward. Since then it's been a process of waiting. Get this form turned in and wait. Have this notarized then wait. Pay this fee and wait. Make this phone call and wait.

We decorated the house for Christmas with a slight sadness because we have waited so long and Lucy still isn't here yet. We had seen her face, but we didn't even know when we'd be able to view it outside of a backlit computer screen. It was frustrating.

A week ago we got a call from our agency that said we had a court date. We're going to be in Ethiopia at the end of January, and we arrive at court on February 4th with the anticipation that she will be ours. So now, even though she's not here yet, we celebrate Christmas with a joy that our lives are about to change forever. There will be new joys, new hopes, new life that enters our house. Maybe that's what Advent is about. The anticipation of new joys and new hopes and new life.

After years and years of wait, the Hebrew people got the Messiah they had been promised. All of humanity was given the Savior of the world. He didn't come in a way that they expected, but when he did come, all was right with the world. God never shows up the way we want him to. He always messes with our sense of expectation. For a while I thought he was some cosmic bully, just letting us know that he's in charge. I'm starting to see that God messes with our expectations because he wants us to know that if we take control of our lives, it just doesn't work out as well. When he takes control, he blows our expectations out of the water. He lets us see just how small our plans are.

So this year, I will celebrate the birth of the Savior of the world. I will celebrate knowing that God knew this Christmas would be my last as a non-parent. I will celebrate because God has an enormous plan for the eventual redemption of the world, and I am a small part of it. I will celebrate because he knows what he's doing, even when I don't.