Saturday, November 27, 2010

Ten Years

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving. We had a very relaxing week and weekend!!! Just found these pics from my ten-year high school class reunion. That night, I reflected A LOT on my life and how it has changed since high school. I reflected on my dreams and how they have evolved and changed over the past 10 years.

In high school:
Dreams: Pediatrician, marry late in life, lots of kids

Well, I was in pre-med for 1 year and then nursing for 1 year and I consistently felt out-of-place. I knew that was not what God had for me. I met Russ the very first day of college.....suddenly my marry later in life plan had failed. SO, the only consistent passion/dream of mine is kids. I felt God first talk to me about adoption at the end of my first year of college BUT I had no idea He would have it planned for our first child. How precious that He gave me a husband that desired the same thing :)

I have struggled my entire life with doing what pleases others. The night of the reunion I felt more like myself than I ever did in high school.

I work for a fabulous company that teaches kids to choose what is true, good, and right, I have an AWESOME husband that I love so much and we have a GOOD marriage AND we are working on all those kids I dreamed about :)

Praying our sweet Lucy will be home soon!!!

Friday, November 12, 2010

Random Fact Friday

So, it has been a while since I have posted Random Fact Friday. Just ran across this pic....while in Austin for the Together for Adoption conference we went to Zilker Park.


Out of all the people sitting in the park....I got pooped on by a bird. Thought it was picture worthy :) Happy Friday!!!!

Monday, November 8, 2010

Light at the End of the Tunnel

After 15 months, we are nearing the end of this process.

Anna has been excited about getting the room ready for Lucy. She's been waiting to do it until we got a referral, now she's started to get her mind wrapped around what she wants it to look like. A couple weeks ago she had the greatest idea.

When she went to China two years ago, they toured a building that would be a meeting place for a house church. When they were there, they took pencils and wrote passages of scripture all over the walls, knowing they were going to be painted. So, knowing that we would paint over it pretty soon, we got pencils out and started writing scripture all over Lucy's room.

Some verses meant a lot to us. Some verses we have found insightful and comforting in this arduous process. Some verses were things that we read a long time ago and have impacted us in some way. As we started to write, we got more and more ideas. I can't really explain why it was such an affirming practice for us, but the more we wrote, the more we smiled and laughed and knew that God has been with us this whole time. It was a life giving process. We prayed together after the walls were full.

When we were writing all this down, I started to recall verses that I haven't read or reflected on in a long time. One of them was a verse passed onto me by my sister.

For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
Zephaniah 3:17

She sent it to me when she was in high school and I was working at Camp Lake Stephens more than ten years ago. Although it's one verse in a longer passage of God's redemption on the tail end of rebellion and punishment, that verse was exactly what I needed to hear. It was helpful in a time when I needed help.

I was looking at the words as I reflected on that verse for the first time since 1998. God is living among us. He is actually living among Lucy's room here and Lucy's room across the world. He has calmed all our fears. He has saved us, taken delight in us, rejoiced over us. He is calming her fears, saving her, taking delight in her, rejoicing over her.

This is amazing to me. I will try to pass this truth to my daughter, to all my children. It's the same way that my sister helped shaped me a long time ago. God has used all my experiences, good and bad, to shape me into who I am. Throughout those experiences have been people. Sisters, mother and father. Friends. My wife. He has used people to shape me.

My daughter will now be shaped by the truth that God rejoices over her with singing. She'll be different from me, and probably end up being a totally different person that I'll ever imagine. But my one hope above all is that she'll fall in love with the Savior that I've come to constantly let down but ultimately trust and love. The cycle goes on.

He rejoices over me. He rejoices over her. Over and over he tells us who he is by the way we are brought together. My transformation is just one more in a long line of transformations that make up the redemption of the world. That's overwhelming. More than that, though, it's wonderful beyond words.

Still Fighting

I continuously talk about this verse.

Psalm 46:10

"Be Still and Know that I am God."

It is written on the wall in our upstairs room. The room that allows me to "get alone." It is also on our daughter's nursery wall....

The adoption process is a hard one. I have struggled for the past 6 months it seems like. I struggled waiting on a referral. Then we got our referral and I was good (for like 1 week). Then I struggled again waiting on our court date. I felt like I had lost the "fight" in me.

You see, in our adoption, I have realized I need a good balance of fight and stillness. To me, the two contradict each other.

I have let my heart be in the process but then at times, left it out in the cold so that I could handle the process. I have engaged in the process yet at times pretended like it wasn't happening so I could handle it all.

But this past week...something happened. I found my "fight" and determination to continue on in the journey to our little girl. I had grown weary but have been renewed.

I also realized that I was focusing more on the first part of the verse. The key is in the second part. KNOW THAT I AM GOD.

I am trusting in that part. God is providing us with unbelievable peace right which I am so thankful.

“I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless that is good for us to wait.”

- C.S. Lewis

Praying for a courtdate soon :)

Friday, November 5, 2010

Heart of Peace

I came across this in my journal....from January 9, 2010.

"If you want to hear God's voice clearly and you are uncertain, then remain in His presence until He changes this uncertainty. Often much can happen during this waiting on the Lord. Sometimes He changes pride into humility; doubt into faith and peace; sometimes lust into purity. The Lord can and will do it."

Corrie Ten Boom

Love how over this past year these have all been prayers of mine. I forgot that I had even read this quote.... LOVE how God reminds us that He is able and working when we need it most.