Monday, November 8, 2010

Still Fighting

I continuously talk about this verse.

Psalm 46:10

"Be Still and Know that I am God."

It is written on the wall in our upstairs room. The room that allows me to "get alone." It is also on our daughter's nursery wall....

The adoption process is a hard one. I have struggled for the past 6 months it seems like. I struggled waiting on a referral. Then we got our referral and I was good (for like 1 week). Then I struggled again waiting on our court date. I felt like I had lost the "fight" in me.

You see, in our adoption, I have realized I need a good balance of fight and stillness. To me, the two contradict each other.

I have let my heart be in the process but then at times, left it out in the cold so that I could handle the process. I have engaged in the process yet at times pretended like it wasn't happening so I could handle it all.

But this past week...something happened. I found my "fight" and determination to continue on in the journey to our little girl. I had grown weary but have been renewed.

I also realized that I was focusing more on the first part of the verse. The key is in the second part. KNOW THAT I AM GOD.

I am trusting in that part. God is providing us with unbelievable peace right which I am so thankful.

“I am sure God keeps no one waiting unless that is good for us to wait.”

- C.S. Lewis

Praying for a courtdate soon :)

1 comment:

Wes and Layla said...

I am right there with you and can totally relate. Right now, I think I have my heart out in the cold to protect myself from the pain of waiting. But, reading this and stepping back to my blog has renewed my spirit once again! So, thank you! You are not in this fight alone!

Hoping we get our court dates soon!