Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A New Reality

Thursday will mark four weeks since we got home with the little girl Polsgrove. A month. It's cliché to say that it's been a whirlwind and we don't know where the time has gone, but sometimes statements are cliché because there are mountains of truth to them. For the first week, we were just trying to survive, and in many ways we still are. The second week we were dealing with a nasty stomach virus. Now it's not so chaotic, not so stressful. At least it's calmed down for me. I've gone back to work and reconvened a regular weekly schedule. Only now when I come home there's two people I'm looking forward to seeing rather than just one. I know it's different for Anna. She doesn't go back to work for a few weeks, and she is pregnant with our second child. I'm sure this makes the job of being a mother much harder because she is uber tired but she's doing a great job. One thing that has helped both of us is Lucy started sleeping through the night last week, and ithat's been a huge help. It's nice for us to sleep a little bit.

Before we brought Lucy home, there were two things I hated. First, I got tired of people telling me how different my life was going to be. Not because I didn't believe it was true, but because I hated the connotation that always came with it. Mostly we heard "do everything you want to do now, because once that kid comes home it's OVER". Although most people weren't trying to scare us, it was usually no fun hearing from people in that way. Our lives have changed, this is true. But we've made a priority out of trying to do the things we used to do. We've been to movies, created space for each other to go read and relax. It's more difficult to get away, but we prioritize our time away more because we realize how precious it is. And also it allows us to prioritize the time we get to spend with Lucy as well. Once the initial bonding process is over and we start having babysitters, I can't wait to go out with my wife again too. Yes our lives have changed, but it's been for the better. It's harder for us to do the things we used to, but we're still fundamentally the same people. I hope that never changes, even if our schedule is different.

The second thing I hated was when people relentlessly flooded the internet with pictures of their kids. Their Facebook profiles are their kids pictures. You get email updates every day. Blogs are filled with pictures. It bothered me so much. It seemed pretentious and self-absorbed. Now i know why those people do it. It's almost impossible not to. When you have an addition to your family, and you have other people who want to be a part of that, you can't help but be absorbed in the brand new moments. Asking a new parent to cool it with all the pics is like asking a 16 year old to stop showing off their driver's license. It's like telling a newly engaged woman to stop showing off her ring. It's such a life changing experience there's no way not to be proud.

Our lives have dramatically changed, so you will pardon me an indulgence for a little while. It'll eventually cool off, I promise.



As you can tell, she likes the swing.



She wore this headband for approximately 4.7 seconds before ripping it off.

Russ

2 comments:

Grace said...

Russ we have a mutual friend in the Whites here in Greenwood. Our daughter is also adopting from Ethiopia and the process should be over soon. I can't wait, as a grandmother to post pictures on my blog. You have a beautiful little blessing there. We've all prayed for this child. Please keep posting pictures.

Waiting For Bella said...

Russ,
My husband & I are awaiting a referral from China and I can definitely relate to the comments you described. They always make me scared to death! I flinch when someone tells me that my whole life is gonna change. I really like my life now! I always wonder ....is that wrong?? We are excited about adding a little one (eventually) and frightened at the same time. I'm sure it will all work out.

Congrats on being home one month!