We arrived at the hospital around 5 am. Such a strange feeling leaving our house as a family of three, coming home a family of four. Once we got settled into the room, this vivacious lady named Bernese came into the room to get things ready for the baby. She said she was about to get off but would be back at 11:00 that night and would probably see me then. She said she hoped I still wouldn't be lying in the bed but she had a feeling I would be. I told her there was no way it would take that long!
As they were getting my IV ready and preparing everything, I opened my Bible. I was a little nervous and just needed some comforting. I had taken my grandfather's bible to use. He passed away 2 years ago and I just wanted a little piece of him to be with me that day. As I opened his bible I thought I would read the verse that God had used to confirm that our son's name would be Rivers. We had liked the name but I wanted it to be more than that. I wanted it to be God ordained. God had shown a verse in John to both me and Russ at different times- just what we needed to know for sure. As I began to open the bible, I could not remember what chapter or verse. I looked down at the page in John that I had opened to and there it was- highlighted by my grandfather. He even had handwritten notes beside the verse. Just another confirmation that God had Rivers birth (and name) planned so long ago. I was missing my grandaddy that day and that just helped me to feel like he was a part of the day.
To start off, they gave me a pill that would hopefully help put me into active labor. I was still only 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I asked my nurse, soon to be best friend, if I could walk around the room to try and help move the process along. After 4-5 hours of this, I was still only at 3 cm. Around 10 am, they started me on pitocin. I knew once they started me on this, I would most likely have to stay in the bed. Hour after hour my sweet nurse and doctor would come into the room. There was no change each time. They would up my dose of pitocin each time. Still no change. At one point I was on the highest level of pitocin my doctor would allow. I was having contractions, and they were hurting, but they were not unbearable and were not causing me to progress. Dr. Young kept saying, "I want to walk in here and NOT see you smiling. I want to see you barely being able to breathe. Then we will know the contractions are doing something!" I labored all day. Normally, you progress 1 cm- 1 1/2 cm per hour. At this point I had been in labor all day and barely progressed.
My goal the entire time was to get to 5 cm without an epidural. Once I was at 5, then I would make a decision about what to do. I had finally gotten to 4 cm but just could not progress beyond that. By this time it was evening. I was frustrated and tired. The contractions were hurting and I was losing my strength- mentally and physically. I had visitors in and out but by now I just needed to be alone. Laboring and talking at the same time just wasn't working any more. I still held off on the epidural....I was hurting but it was not unbearable yet.
My precious nurse came in to check me and I was still at 4 cm. She felt like maybe I needed to get a new bag of pitocin- one with a different batch number. She had a patient one time whose labor was similar to mine. She thought to try a new bag of pitocin and when she did, the woman progressed quickly. She thought it was worth a shot.
She hung the new bag of pitocin and IMMEDIATELY my contractions were different!! I was no longer smiling - it was game time! After laboring for a bit, she checked me and I just knew I was at 5 cm. When she checked, she said she would call me a 4 1/2 but others might would call it a 5. I knew then that it was time to get the epidural. The contractions were back to back and I knew if I had to labor for a long time I would rather have the epidural. About an hour later, I got the epidural and all I have to say is WOW. I was so excited- I just knew I would progress quickly and he would be here soon!!
Every hour or so they would check and I was still at 5 cm. By this time, I was receiving texts and calls from friends asking what was going on. At around 11 pm, Dr. Young came in to give me the talk. He knew how much I wanted to have Rivers vaginally so he was so precious about the way he talked to me BUT he was honest about what type of labor I was in. He told me I was not in a normal labor pattern. I mean- I progressed 2 cm in 9 HOURS. At this point he said I could labor all night if I wanted and we would see what would happen. He was not going to guarantee that I would progress any more but he was willing to give me the chance. He also gave me the option of having a c-section that night or the next day if nothing happened. Right now the decision was up to me, as long as Rivers and I were both doing well. Rivers looked great and I was doing good except my blood pressure was elevated but not to a point that he felt was dangerous. Dr. Young left the room to go perform a c-section and said he would come back afterwards to check me and see if I had made any decisions. Once he left, I fell apart. Not sure why- probably exhaustion but suddenly I could not think rationally. The spirit of fear was upon me and I could not shake it. I began to have thoughts about me dying if I chose to have a c-section. But then I would have the thought that something would happen to Rivers if I chose to try and keep laboring. I have no idea why but suddenly I was hysterical and fearful. I began to worry about the recovery process if I had a c-section. How would Lucy handle me not being able to pick her up for so long? I mean- I had a 17 month old at home. I couldn't be out of commission for so long. Russ began to tell me that neither decision was wrong. Either one would be the right decision. We just wanted Rivers here and safe. After a good, long cry I settled down. I asked God to show us the way and to remove all fear.
About that time my sweet nurse Melinda came in and said she would check me before Dr. Young came back. You could tell everyone thought I would have to have a c-section. But she was still hoping with me that I had progressed. It was around 11:30 pm now. She checked me and said, "You are at 9!" I told her to quit lying to me- that that was mean. She was like- seriously, I would not be joking with you right now. I could not believe it! Within 10 minutes or so she had me pushing! All of our family were still camped out in the waiting room- where they had been all day. We sent them a text to let them know they would be meeting sweet Rivers soon.
As they were getting my IV ready and preparing everything, I opened my Bible. I was a little nervous and just needed some comforting. I had taken my grandfather's bible to use. He passed away 2 years ago and I just wanted a little piece of him to be with me that day. As I opened his bible I thought I would read the verse that God had used to confirm that our son's name would be Rivers. We had liked the name but I wanted it to be more than that. I wanted it to be God ordained. God had shown a verse in John to both me and Russ at different times- just what we needed to know for sure. As I began to open the bible, I could not remember what chapter or verse. I looked down at the page in John that I had opened to and there it was- highlighted by my grandfather. He even had handwritten notes beside the verse. Just another confirmation that God had Rivers birth (and name) planned so long ago. I was missing my grandaddy that day and that just helped me to feel like he was a part of the day.
To start off, they gave me a pill that would hopefully help put me into active labor. I was still only 1 cm dilated and 50% effaced. I asked my nurse, soon to be best friend, if I could walk around the room to try and help move the process along. After 4-5 hours of this, I was still only at 3 cm. Around 10 am, they started me on pitocin. I knew once they started me on this, I would most likely have to stay in the bed. Hour after hour my sweet nurse and doctor would come into the room. There was no change each time. They would up my dose of pitocin each time. Still no change. At one point I was on the highest level of pitocin my doctor would allow. I was having contractions, and they were hurting, but they were not unbearable and were not causing me to progress. Dr. Young kept saying, "I want to walk in here and NOT see you smiling. I want to see you barely being able to breathe. Then we will know the contractions are doing something!" I labored all day. Normally, you progress 1 cm- 1 1/2 cm per hour. At this point I had been in labor all day and barely progressed.
My goal the entire time was to get to 5 cm without an epidural. Once I was at 5, then I would make a decision about what to do. I had finally gotten to 4 cm but just could not progress beyond that. By this time it was evening. I was frustrated and tired. The contractions were hurting and I was losing my strength- mentally and physically. I had visitors in and out but by now I just needed to be alone. Laboring and talking at the same time just wasn't working any more. I still held off on the epidural....I was hurting but it was not unbearable yet.
My precious nurse came in to check me and I was still at 4 cm. She felt like maybe I needed to get a new bag of pitocin- one with a different batch number. She had a patient one time whose labor was similar to mine. She thought to try a new bag of pitocin and when she did, the woman progressed quickly. She thought it was worth a shot.
She hung the new bag of pitocin and IMMEDIATELY my contractions were different!! I was no longer smiling - it was game time! After laboring for a bit, she checked me and I just knew I was at 5 cm. When she checked, she said she would call me a 4 1/2 but others might would call it a 5. I knew then that it was time to get the epidural. The contractions were back to back and I knew if I had to labor for a long time I would rather have the epidural. About an hour later, I got the epidural and all I have to say is WOW. I was so excited- I just knew I would progress quickly and he would be here soon!!
Every hour or so they would check and I was still at 5 cm. By this time, I was receiving texts and calls from friends asking what was going on. At around 11 pm, Dr. Young came in to give me the talk. He knew how much I wanted to have Rivers vaginally so he was so precious about the way he talked to me BUT he was honest about what type of labor I was in. He told me I was not in a normal labor pattern. I mean- I progressed 2 cm in 9 HOURS. At this point he said I could labor all night if I wanted and we would see what would happen. He was not going to guarantee that I would progress any more but he was willing to give me the chance. He also gave me the option of having a c-section that night or the next day if nothing happened. Right now the decision was up to me, as long as Rivers and I were both doing well. Rivers looked great and I was doing good except my blood pressure was elevated but not to a point that he felt was dangerous. Dr. Young left the room to go perform a c-section and said he would come back afterwards to check me and see if I had made any decisions. Once he left, I fell apart. Not sure why- probably exhaustion but suddenly I could not think rationally. The spirit of fear was upon me and I could not shake it. I began to have thoughts about me dying if I chose to have a c-section. But then I would have the thought that something would happen to Rivers if I chose to try and keep laboring. I have no idea why but suddenly I was hysterical and fearful. I began to worry about the recovery process if I had a c-section. How would Lucy handle me not being able to pick her up for so long? I mean- I had a 17 month old at home. I couldn't be out of commission for so long. Russ began to tell me that neither decision was wrong. Either one would be the right decision. We just wanted Rivers here and safe. After a good, long cry I settled down. I asked God to show us the way and to remove all fear.
About that time my sweet nurse Melinda came in and said she would check me before Dr. Young came back. You could tell everyone thought I would have to have a c-section. But she was still hoping with me that I had progressed. It was around 11:30 pm now. She checked me and said, "You are at 9!" I told her to quit lying to me- that that was mean. She was like- seriously, I would not be joking with you right now. I could not believe it! Within 10 minutes or so she had me pushing! All of our family were still camped out in the waiting room- where they had been all day. We sent them a text to let them know they would be meeting sweet Rivers soon.
Aunt Kathy and Meme
Nana and T
Kissing baby brother 1 last time!
Coco
Meme and Kathy
La La, Nana, and T
Poppy
Thanks to my grandmother and aunt - Granny and Susu - for keeping Lucy all day :)
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