1 year ago

One year ago today we received the first picture of our Lucy.  We had waited and prayed .....and waited and prayed some more for the day that we would see her face for the first time.  You can read more about the day HERE but basically, I was in Old Navy when we received the call.  I hurried home to surprise Russ with the news.  We called our case worker back once we were together in front of the computer and waited for the email to come through.  I remember how LONG it felt like it was taking for the email to come through.  When it did, this was the first picture we saw of our precious 3-month old tiny (and I do mean TINY) little girl. 

We immediately went to share the good news with our family.  So fun to just show up on their doorsteps with a picture of her!

We then waited a little over four months until we were able to travel to meet her .  As we entered the foster home, I snapped a picture right at the moment we saw her...one that we had waited so long for.

We then had to leave and were not able to return to Ethiopia for 6 LONG, HARD months (for a total of 10 months from referral).  But at last, the time had come and we traveled to bring this angel home.
We have been home for  7 weeks.  I really am going to blog some about our transition...I know...I know...I keep saying that....but I really am!! 

She is amazing and we are so blessed to be her parents.  Her eyes and smile captivate all who come in contact with her.  She truly embodies what the name Lucy means, "bringer of light."

Spinning Out of Control. Or Not.

Last night we attended our first birthing class. In the revelry of bringing the little girl home, there are times when we forget something. "Oh yeah, there's another one on the way." We don't actually forget of course. We are reminded every day. But we've been so consumed with the day to day of our new reality, it's hard to imagine that this isn't going to be our reality for long. This is like a briefing. A preparation. It's a soft launch. A pre-grand opening. When we finally become ok with the fact that we don't know what we're doing, we're going to get another reminder that we don't know what we're doing. This is scary.

The birthing class instructor started to go through early labor signs, what to pack to the hospital, and technical terms that would make my 15 year old self snicker(ok, my 33 year old self laughed too). Anna and I repeatedly looked at each other with a smirky "what are we doing" look. It was comforting to look around at the four other couples in the room that gave each other that same look. We don't know what we're doing. This is scary.

At times, this realization is more than I can bear. If I dwell on it, I'm going to go insane.

Then I come home in the afternoon. I look at the little girls laughing face, and it's wonderful. Even if she's whiney or fussy or upset, it still makes my day. As a culture we are so caught up in the present moment. We forget the roads we took to get where we are. It took us two years to get Lucy home. No matter how tiring or scary it is, bringing her home was one of the grandest moments of my life, and when they brought her to me for the first time, nothing else in the world mattered. When Anna first showed me a positive pregnancy test, nothing else mattered. It was one of the grandest moments of my life.

Yes it's scary. We have to figure out finances. Are we going to buy and sell homes? Is he going to be healthy? How will Lucy respond to being a big sister after such a short adjustment period to the US? Will we ever sleep again? These are all questions we have, and they're not easy to answer. When these questions arise, I'm often reminded of something my dad always told me. Nothing worth doing is easy. This is conventional wisdom, an old wise saying, and it's truth rings deeper than ever before. All the pivotal moments of life involve leaps of faith. Every grand moment in my life started out with me saying these words.

"I don't know what I'm doing. This is scary."

So bring it on.

Russ