Tuesday I was home alone and SAD. I was not having fun with my company and just wanted a referral. I began to think about Lucy and her future and our future with kids. I felt the overwhelming need to go into her room (which is FULL of junk), get on my knees, and pray for our futures. I prayed against my need to think I know what is best for her life....against the need to feel like I am in control... and that I would realize she is first and foremost God's child and I must trust her to Him. It then hit me that if I believe that and pray for that for the future then I must believe He knows every day of her life...even if I don't what is going on with her now. It is amazing how many times God has to teach me the same lessons. I left her room with a sense of peace....thankful that God is all-knowing and I am not.
On Thursday, I decided to try and go to work for the day. After a couple of hours my boss/great friend called in a panic. She was overwhelmed and just needed to vent. They (as in her and her husband and their FIVE children) were leaving for Boston that afternoon and life was just overwhelming. I listened and finally told her I was coming over to help. After many attempts to try and get me not to, she finally agreed to let me come.
Such a God moment. When I got to her house...we sat and talked about our China trip we went on two years ago, family, sin, God, life. FOR. TWO. HOURS. We prayed, cried, breathed. Just what I needed. After lunch we finally started working. Around 3 pm she told me she was going to Wal-mart and Old Navy to get items for their trip. I told her my energy was sinking (due to my unwanted guest...Mr. Strep Throat) and to let me go for her. I called Russ on the way and told him I would be home in an hour or so.
I wandered through Wal-mart....no shorts for her son so I ran to Old Navy. No shorts. I was walking through the store...ILL....TIRED....and my phone rang. I was so disturbed...I mean...how dare someone call me on my phone. I decided to see who it was. 817.......uh...uh.....this is it.
Kristen: Hey Anna, This is Kristen....this is the call.
Me: (screaming in Old Navy) Oh my goodness....I didn't think you were ever going to call me.
I stood there for a moment....stunned...then thought about the fact that I didn't get my friend's son's shorts. Maybe I should go to Kohl's....wait ....what am I thinking.....I need to go home NOW and see my BABY!! I dropped the other items off at her house and told her I was running home to see my baby.
I called Russ...told him I didn't feel well and would be home in a minute. He said I sounded weird...I told him nothing was wrong.
My heart was pounding and I think I had to remind myself to breathe a few times on the way home. I drove in silence...no radio...just my thoughts (and the squeaking sounds from our old car that is on it's last leg...or tire if you will).
I pulled up...ran to the door...completely trying to act normal...Russ met me at the door. I could tell he was worried but I knew he had no idea. I told him we had gotten the call!
We set the computer up and called Kristen. She didn't answer the first time but answered the second time. Good thing because I was calling every minute until she answered.
When her picture came up and she told us her age...we were stunned. I had no idea she would be so little....so tiny....so beautiful. I looked over and Russ was weeping...which was just as beautiful a site as her. We didn't speak for minutes...we were quite literally speechless. After hearing her story...God was suddenly bigger and grander than I realized. I felt like I had just gotten a glimpse of Him and his character....I suddenly knew Him better.
He put her on our heart 3 years ago....and on the day we got the call...she was 3 days from being 3 months old. She is perfect and has the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen.
What an amazing end to the week. For 8 months I wanted the call. While nothing spectacular happened during this past week....the timing of the call was perfect. Russ and I had been depressed, sad. Our prayers had turned to begging....but this past week..we both realized that and consciously spent time trying to come to a point where we wanted God's timing not ours. By Thursday we weren't desperate...well, maybe a little....but we were ready. What a wonderful day!!! Thursday night and Friday were spent driving around North Mississippi showing her off to our friends and family.
Absolutely amazing experience. We love her so much.