First I want to say that I have the best mom, mother-in-law, mamaw, Granny, and Meme in the world. I treasure them and they have all shaped me to become who I am today.
Mother's Day was a tough day. I didn't think it would be...honestly didn't think too much about it. I woke up to a card from Russ. Do you remember the song "Stacy's mom has got it going on" ??? Well, the front of my card said "Lucy's mom has got it going on." MADE MY DAY! I love my husband.
Next I went to my cousin Lauren's son Cason's dedication. The last time I was in that church was at my grandfather's funeral. Also, Cason was my grandfather's prized possession so it was so hard to experience that day without him. The entire time I thought about Lucy. Was she born yet, if she was...was she okay...when would we get to meet her..... I felt like I had this huge secret. A few people made mention that I really was a mother but most of the people I met that day had no clue. No clue that I think, dream, crave my child that is across the world. She is so real to us. We talk of her everyday.
While most days I am sure that God's plan was correct (as if I know better??) about my grandfather passing. But then I just miss him....which leads me to thinking about my last conversation with him....which was about Lucy. I then mourn all over again the fact that they did not get to meet here on this Earth.
And then God does His thing and gives me hope and peace just when I am at the end of my rope. This time I had myself a good little cry and then praised Him for this journey called life.
oh, and just one more thing. There are ways to be a mother other than birthing a child. My mom and aunt are mothers to many of their students, my aunt practically raised us, etc. Thank you to all the women out there that play a role as a mother. You have no idea the impact you are making on someone's life.