For the past few weeks I've had these tiny blasts of panic. They haven't ever lasted long because almost immediately I've thought of another task that needs to be completed. This paper needs to be signed. This call needs to be made. For work or for the adoption, something always needed to get done. I welcomed the tasks because it made the fear go away.
So last night, when all my tasks were over, I feared the fear. I went to bed thinking I would be in a meltdown by morning. But something happened. I woke up, and felt at peace. Calm. No panic. Just an ease about what God has called us into.
That defines this whole process. It really defines my entire life as a Christ follower. Countless days of fear and panic, followed by calm. The peace comes from understanding that any semblance of control is just an illusion. It's faker than T-Pain's singing voice.
More than any other experience, adoption has showed me that the God I believe in is real. This story is not ours. It's not even Lucy's. It is God's. He is weaving this ravaged world back together. He uses tarnished people.
Every time we have had a roadblock, someone has come in the name of Jesus and helped us navigate it. Paperwork problems? Meet this notary. Money issues? Here's a check. Computer issues? Use mine. Work issues? Take whatever time you need. Scared? Here's a group of people to let you know that what you feel is normal. Here's a group of people who will pray for you.
We thank you all. Family members. Adoption agencies. Friends. Co-Workers. Youth Group Kids(you all know who you are). Caretakers. Coaching programs. Women's groups. Birth mother. There is no way that we can thank you enough. It's not possible. Each of you has played a large part in the life of our daughter. We love you. Our family's faith has been strengthened because of what Christ has done in you. This is a unique adventure that would not happen without you. You're the best.
Lucy's coming home. It's all happening.
See you guys later.