Wednesday, March 10, 2010

I've Been Thinking About Something

*****This post was intended for Friday, February 19th.

Today two very important events took place.  One being my grandfather's funeral and the other us being on the official waitlist for one month.  I must confess...my heart is devastated by my grandfather's passing.  But, it is amazing how God can create good and peace in any situation.  He certainly has done that for us.
       Granddaddy came out of surgery on Thursday, February 11th.  They removed over half his liver (including the cancerous part) and was doing great!!  I went into his ICU room that night and spent an hour or so.  I held his hand listening to him sing God's praises.  He told of the peace God had given him the night before the surgery.  That night he went to bed knowing that the next day he would stare death in the face yet never had a negative thought, fear or anxiety...just peace. 
    My aunt told of how the night before, my grandparents, both being in their individual twin beds in the hospital room, spent the night rotating from one bed to the next just to snuggle together.  Oh, how I pray Russ and I will be like this after 56 years of marriage. My grandmother told me how he sang to her that morning..just as he always did.
       On Friday I spent the entire day with him.  A day I will never forget.  We talked of how excited we were that he would be there when Lucy came home.  He then said those five words that he said so often "I've been thinking about something."  He proceded to tell me his thoughts on Lucy.  I knew he supported us but we had not really talked too specifically about it.  He had sent us an article on Ethiopian religion...which talked of how some worshipped God along with a long list of other gods.
     He then proceded to tell me that God wants all people to know him and that God was using Russ and me.  He described us as tools that God was using so that Lucy could know and hear about Him.  How maybe Lucy would never have known God if we were not being obedient...how God's plan is so much bigger than ours and how he loves us all so much.  He then grabbed my chin...pulled me down to his face and told me how much he loved me.
     That was my last conversation with him.  I arrived on Tuesday, February 16th right before he went to be with Jesus.  My heart broke but God gave us so much peace.  The image in my head of my granddaddy seeing Jesus for the first time was almost too much.  Oh, how he loved Jesus.  But then my heart sank.  He wouldn't be there to meet Lucy.....

At that moment God whispered in my ear...."You have an amazing story and legacy to share with her."  My last conversation with him was about her!!  How he loved her and how he wanted her to know God's love!!!  Thank you Jesus for that conversation.  What an amazing conversation I will have with her one day. My heart still grieves over them not getting to meet but I am so thankful for God's tenderness and compassion he had by allowing us to have that conversation.