Called Out of Darkness

As Anna has recently informed you, one of her Christmas presents to me was a book by Anne Rice.  Called Out of Darkness was the title.  It's a spiritual memoir.  It's a story of a girl who grew up steeped in Catholic tradition in New Orleans, rejected her faith for almost 50 years, and then returned very late in life.

I had never read anything by Anne Rice.  Ever.  This was a great kickstart at a point in my life when I needed a little bit of a jolt.  

There is one quote in the entire book that I cannot get out of my skull.  

"I stopped talking to God long before I became an atheist."  

Although surrounded by symbols and Mass and reminders of who Jesus was, she stopped talking to God.  She stopped praying.  She halted the connection that she had with her creator God.

In the world of someone who works at a church, it's easy to assume that you're talking to God just because you spend so much time talking about him.  I realized that I go a long time asking God for stuff.  Then I spend a lot of time talking about God.  There are long stretches, too long, that I don't actually talk to God.

That scared me.  That revelation also challenged me.  It's crazy that I do that.  It's even crazier what happens when you actually make it a priority to talk TO him.  Sometimes it feels like he's not even there, but others he reveals himself to you.  In those times that he does reveal himself, I know he's there.

All the time.  

Does that make sense? Or does that sound like 60% of the time it works every time?